“I don’t know, babe,” Willow says, rubbing my back as fresh tears start again.
God, I’m so tired of crying. I’ve been crying for days. Fuckingdays, goddammit. He’s not worth all these tears!
There’s a knock on the front door, but before any of us can move, the sound of the door opening and closing meets us. I groan. Only one person would come in unannounced—
She harrumphs when she gets to the bedroom doorway, bracing her hands on her hips. “Let’s go, Louise. Get out of bed. We’re not wallowing away pining after any man.”
“Grandma Jude—”
“Nope, I don’t want to hear it,” she grouses, stepping over to the edge of the bed. She snaps her fingers at me. “No granddaughter of mine is going to let a man break her like this. He wanted to walk away, we’re gonna let him, but we’re not going to lay in this bed one more day. You’re going to get up, take a shower, brush through that tangled mess of hair. When was the last time you ate?”
“At least two days ago,” Liv whispers, and I kick at her while remaining where I lay.Traitor.
Grandma Jude tsks, wandering around my bedroom, gathering dirty clothes in a basket tucked under her arm. “Come on. Shower. Then we’re going for lunch.”
“I don’t want to go anywhere,” I whine, letting my body hang like deadweight when Willow tries to sit me up. “My head hurts.”
“Well, that’s what you get for crying and carrying on. Take some Tylenol and put your granny panties on.”
“I think the saying is ‘put your big girl panties on’, Grandma Jude,” Liv giggles.
Grandma Jude just waves her hand dismissively before disappearing out of the room. I hear my washer lid clang open, and then the water as it starts pouring into the drum. A minute later, the lid closes with another metallic clang, and then Grandma is back.
“Louise Nicole Miller,” she barks, and for the first time, I heed the warning in her voice. Oh shit. Hands on her hips, she glares down at me as I scramble to sit up. “Don’t make me count to three, young lady. I said get up; I mean it.”
I scoot to the edge of the bed and stand, my legs wobbling. My grandma steps in front of me and cups my cheeks in her weathered, wrinkled hands, her thumbs smoothing over my tear swollen cheeks.
“My sweet, tender-hearted girl,” she whispers, her eyes softer than before. “I know your heart is hurting, and your pride is bruised.” I nod in her hands, fighting another wave of tears. I blink at them, but several slip down my cheeks, and she swipes them away gently. “You have a courage in you, my darling girl, that so many lack. The courage to love,really lovewith your whole being… even when there’s a risk of having your heart broken… it’s going to find its way back to you. You keep loving with that big heart of yours, Lou, because that love is going to be returned to you tenfold. You hear me?”
I nod, more tears sliding down my cheeks unchecked. A sob cracks my chest. “I really loved him. And the girls.” My grandma pulls me into her arms, letting me cry. “I miss them so much.”
“I know,” she whispers. “So, we’re going to have one last cry, then we’re going to wash our face, yes, and then we’re going to let the hurt go.”
“Okay,” I whisper, nodding again. I take a deep breath and straighten, swiping my palms under my eyes. “I’m going to take a shower.”
I leave my grandma and my two best friends in the bedroom, closing the bathroom door behind me. I turn the shower on, find a towel, and then grab a eucalyptus shower steamer from the drawer.
I hope Abigail got to pack all the steamers I gave her.
Unwrapping it, I toss it into the bottom of the shower and then step in. I don’t let myself sit. I don’t let myself cry.
It’s a small, small win.
After my shower, I brush through my hair for the first time in days, detangling the mess as I go. There’s honestly not much I can do for the puffiness beneath my eyes from crying, but a little concealer helps combat most of it, at least.
When I exit the bathroom wrapped in a towel, I hear the three women in the living room, so I pad across the hall and get dressed. It’s cold again today, November coming in with a vengeance after the mild fall we enjoyed.
I pretend not to notice that the last day of real sunshine was the day of Zach’s court hearing. Like somehow the sky even knows all the light has gone.
I drag on a pair of wide legged jeans and a warm, comfortable sweater in a deep merlot color before twisting my hair into a braid. I finally step out of the bedroom, feeling slightly more human than before.
My stomach growls, and I hate to admit just how hungry I am.
“Lunch,” Grandma Jude says, and I agree. Pulling a jacket on, I slip my feet into low heeled booties, and then the four of us are out the door. “Anything specific sound good?”
I glance at the clock on the dashboard, then look at Willow. “We could go bug Luck.”
“Excellent,” Willow chuckles, nodding. Grandma Jude tucks herself into the front passenger seat.
