I lower my head and let the rush of shame crash through me. I’m being selfish, while my oldest sister Darci is somehow managing to be Superwoman in the aftermath of her entire life blowing up from the unexpected death of her husband, Nolan.
I don’t know how she does it all. I wouldn’t be able to leave my bed for weeks if it had been me. My sisters always tell me that I fall too hard, too quick, and then subsequently get my heart broken because guys in the dating poolsuuckkkand disappear like ghosts two weeks in.
But I guess it just goes to show how impossibly strong my sister is; just because her heart is breaking doesn’t mean she doesn’t still have a family to take care of, two young kids and a teenager who are all heartbroken and struggling, who need her to be their rock.
My other two older sisters, Sienna and Tessa, and myself have been rotating shifts out at Bliss Garden to try and take some stress off Darci’s shoulders. Sienna is photographing a wedding today, and it’s Tessa’s Saturday atTurn the Page, the bookshop she and her best friend own and operate in downtown Petoskey, so… I’m it for today.
It’s also a big reason why I keep putting off applying for my literal dream job. If I leave Bliss Garden… no. It’s not fair to Darci or Mom right now.
So I suck it up and do the responsible thing as much as possible.
Only, I’m terrible at being a responsible adult, so I overextend myself and forget commitments. And then feel like a terrible daughter and sister. Whoops.
“You’re right, you need to be there. I have a birthday party from one to three, but I’ll be there as soon as I can,” I promise gently.
“Thank you,” Darci murmurs, and for a second, I can sense the grief she keeps bottled up so tightly. “How is the new place, by the way?”
I smile sadly. Same old Darci, always checking in on everyone else, even in the face of her own heartache. “It’s good. It’s smaller than I remember when I toured it, but it’s going to be perfect.”
“They always seem smaller after you move all your stuff inside. Have you met any of your neighbors yet?”
My new place is one in a collection of small A-Frame style cabins situated on a small piece of property on the north side of Petoskey. There are four nearly identical structures surrounding a circle drive with a stretch of lawn in the center. A metal bonfire ring is situated in the middle, with a smattering of white plastic lawn chairs scattered around it. The landlord said it’s a communal spot, but I haven’t seen anyone use it yet.
My little A-Frame cabin is the farthest one on the right, and my front door looks straight across the communal yard and circle drive at the front door of the farthest one on the left. Two slightly larger buildings make up the two in between.
Across the way, I’ve met the lesbian couple that live in the smaller cabin that matches mine. They have an adorably ugly bulldog named Barbie and have been vocal about inviting everyone over for cocktails, barbeque, and cornhole. In the larger cabin next to them is a young couple who just had theirfirst baby. They seem super nice, but I haven’t seen much of them.
I haven’t met the family that lives next door to me yet, but I’ve certainlyheardthem. They’re noisy.
Each cabin has its own personal parking spot and a cute stone paved walkway that leads to a small covered front stoop. I can’t wait to decorate mine with seasonal florals from the garden and a cute little welcome mat.
“I met two out of the three,” I tell Darci as I fumble another handful of flowers that I’m still attempting to stick into the braid. “Everyone seems nice so far.”
“That’s really awesome, I’m so glad it’s working out,” my sister murmurs. “Anyway, I’ll let you get back to it. I’ll see you at four. Thank you, Lou, I owe you one.”
My sister hangs up before I can say anything else, and guilt makes my stomach ache all over again.
Satisfied that I have tucked enough flowers into the long braid, I stand from where I’ve been sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the tall mirror I have propped in the corner of my new bedroom. I hate getting ready in the bathroom; probably a side effect from childhood. We had one bathroom and four girls, plus my parents. Bathroom time was sacred and scarce. Makeup and hair were not an ‘in the bathroom’ activity. We found ways to work around it.
I’d gotten used to sharing the mirror in the bedroom with Tessa as we’d grown up, until Darci and then Sienna had moved out and we’d gotten our own rooms for a few years. Even then, I’d still sit in front of the mirror to do my makeup or hair. Guess old habits die hard, or whatever the saying is.
I grab my favorite body slimmer and wrestle it over my thick thighs, wide set hips, and a stomach that I’ve always considered a touch too soft. My boobs are small and not much to look atwithout a really good pushup bra, but I don’t mind because at least they’re still perky.
Yanking the body shaper into place, I pull on the Rapunzel dress, the soft, silky material gliding over my now smoothed out curves. I quickly lace the corset style backing, tying it in a bow above the curve of my butt, then race to find my nude flats. Panicking, I realize belatedly that I need a change of clothes for afterward, when I have to go to Bliss Garden. I won’t have time to come home to change before I have to be out to work tonight. Throwing my clothes into a bag, I glance at the clock.
Shit. I now only have twenty minutes to get across town.
I grab up my purse, my bag with a change of clothes, and my makeup bag for touch ups just in case. Then I’m racing out the door, only to be brought up short when I run headlong into a solid wall of man.
Really, really good smelling, solid wall of man.
“Ooof!”
“Shit, sorry—” A deep, gruff voice says from a long way up as strong, rough hands circle around my upper arms to steady me, but my momentum still has me toppling over.
Gasping out a startled little shriek, I drop my bags to the front stoop at my feet and grab hold of the first thing I can—which on hindsight, can probably get me charged with sexual assault.
Because the first thing my right-hand latches onto is the belt loop at the side of his hip… and my left hand?
