Kai quirked an eyebrow. “You mean the one where everyone around you died?”
Baz blinked at Kai. This was the first he was hearing of this.
“My nightmares tend to get fairly gruesome at times, yes,” Clover conceded. “When you witness death, especially as a child… it scars you. I hold tight to those around me because my worst fear is losing them. I put my neck out for the Eclipse-born because I know what it’s like to—”
“You might have compassion for the challenges we Eclipse-born face,” Kai interrupted, “but it’s not the same as experiencing them firsthand. You will never understand what it’s like for us because you’re not like us.”
Clover opened his mouth as if to contest that fact but caught himself. Baz realized what Kai had been trying to do: he’d baited Clover so that he’d show his hand—admit to being one of them. Eclipse-born. Eclipse-formed. An identity he had to live with in secret.
“What I’m trying to say,” Clover maintained, “is that I will not do anything to jeopardize Baz’s safety. You have my word.”
“Good.” Kai smiled at him in a way that scared most people. “As long as we’re all on the same page.”
Baz found himself unable to concentrate during their next class. He kept replaying Kai’s insinuated threat to Clover. That intimidating smile, the protective stance—all for Baz’s benefit.
He didn’t think Clover deserved such distrust from them. But he found he didn’t mind this protective side of Kai—that in fact, he enjoyed it.
That night, when they were alone in the illusioned gardens, Baz and Kai speculated over the dean of Karunang’s apparent belief that they really were students of his. It was hard to believe he would have such little awareness of his charges that the suddenappearance of two Eclipse-born students wouldn’t even cast the slightest of doubt.
“I suppose we should be grateful,” Baz said with a shrug.
Kai wasn’t so convinced. “I don’t like it. Clover asking you to be his partner, the lack of pushback from the dean… It all feels too convenient. We need to be careful.”
Baz’s stomach was aflutter again thinking of Kai’s earlier protectiveness. “What was this about Clover’s nightmare?”
He listened, horrified, as Kai recounted the scene he’d witnessed in Clover’s sleep and the umbrae he’d pulled out of it. If Clover was dreaming aboutCollapsing, there was no doubt in their minds that he’d unlocked his Eclipse magic.
“There’s something else.” Kai fiddled with a blade of grass. “I was waiting for the right moment to tell you, and I’m not even sure it was real, but… I think I saw Emory in Clover’s nightmare.”
Baz’s heart stopped. “How…”
“I keep seeingThamesin Clover’s nightmares too. It’s like I drift to them in sleep without even trying, the same way it was with Emory before.” Kai gave Baz an assessing glance. “You know, I always wondered whyyournightmares called to me more than others. For a while, I thought… I don’t know. That there might be something magical to our connection. But maybe there isn’t.”
“Okay,” Baz said with a confused chuckle, trying not to be hurt by the comment.
“No, I mean, what we have—it doesn’tneedsome weird magical explanation. You intrigue me, Brysden. You always have, ever since I first stepped into that printing press nightmare of yours. You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met. And maybe that’s why I can’t get away from you. Why I always end up in your mind like a damn moth to a flame.”
Baz didn’t think he could bear it if that was all Kai saw him as: a mind full of repeating nightmares and deep-rooted fears that hefound interesting in a purely academic way. A project to work on as he kept pushing further into Baz’s psyche to understand his fears.
“I’m not some experiment for you to decipher,” he said, the bite of anger to his words taking him by surprise. Why was this bothering him so much?
“I’m explaining it all wrong. What I’m getting at is this dream-bond I have with Clover, Thames, Emory… I thinkthathas a magical explanation. It’s like our souls call to one another in sleep, a pull that can’t be ignored.” Amusement lifted the corner of his mouth. “And just so you know, there’s nothing about youtodecipher. I can read you like a Tides-damned book, Brysden.”
“Is it a good book, at least?”
“The best.”
Baz felt suddenly warm despite the coolness of the illusioned gardens. Still, something Kai had once said to him darkened his thoughts.It’s always the quietest minds that hide the worst sort of violence.
“Did you know, on some level, that I… that I’d killed those people?” he asked.
Kai flinched. “Why would you think that?”
“Maybe that’s why you’ve always been drawn to my nightmares. Because of how horrible they are. Because of how horrible I am.”
Kai’s mouth thinned in an angry line. “You know I’ve seen truly terrible minds, souls darker than the dark between stars.” His midnight voice sent shivers up Baz’s spine. “You’re not one of them, Baz.”
They locked eyes. The sound of his first name on Kai’s lips sent butterflies swirling in his chest. If it were anyone but Kai, Baz might think he was saying this only to make him feel better. But Kai wasn’t one for lies or sugarcoating the truth.
