“Perfect,” he says. “She’s so clever. And naughtier than I was as a child.”
“Is that possible?” I ask.
Nathan lets out a short laugh before showing me photos of his daughter on his phone. I have to admit that he looks the part of the doting father in every picture. Even with all the resentment between us, I find it heart-warming to see.
“You’ll have to bring her here next time,” I say.
“It wouldn’t be too much for you?” Nathan asks.
“Why would it be?” I reply.
He shrugs. “No reason.”
Before I can push, Penny comes walking in carrying plates of food.
“All done, Mum.” Penny places a plate of food in front of me. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine, honestly.” I glance across at Tim, who I’ve just met, and would prefer not to feel so self-conscious in front of. But Penny has that same worried expression on her face that makes me feel five years old. “Come on, let’s tuck in.”
Penny takes the hint. “Sure. Let’s have a nice meal.” She stabs a potato and gives me a small smile. I sense there are unspoken words dangling awkwardly around us.
“I heard you went viral recently, Mrs Mathis,” Tim blurts out. “That must have been quite an experience.”
I freeze, the fork part-way between the plate and my lips.
“Oh, um, Tim, we probably shouldn’t—” Penny starts.
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Tim adds. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you, Mrs Mathis. You’re ill, I know that, I just wondered what it was like having that much attention on you. It must have been quite an unusual experience.” He smiles widely at first, but the longer our eyes meet, the more his expression fades into one of concern.
I put the fork down. “It’s not really something I like talking about. Given the sensitive nature of the photograph.”
“Oh, totally,” he says. “I have a foot and mouth issue. Sorry!”
Nathan lets out a laugh. “Finally, I’m not the only one.”
“It’s okay,” I say. “Don’t worry about it.”
“But you really have nothing to worry about,” Tim says. “You have a great body for a woman your age.”
“Tim!” Penny gasps.
Tim slaps his forehead with his hand. “Shit… I mean, gosh, I’m so sorry. Foot in mouth again. I told you!”
Nathan starts to laugh, a portion of chewed potato visible from the corner of his mouth, and leans so far back in his chair it almost tips over. I send him the glare I’d rather have sent to Tim.
Cheeks burning, I choose to ignore them both and try to eat. Tim is still apologising but I just raise a hand to get him to stop.
“Tim that was so insensitive. Sorry, Mum,” Penny says. “Sorry.”
I hear Tim whisper, “But it was a compliment.”
Maybe it was and I should laugh it off. In a week or a month I might. But right now I’m too filled with frustration and annoyance. I add, “It’s not me in the photograph.”
Penny sighs but she says nothing.
The silence thickens around us. It’s clear that today isn’t the right time to tell Penny about finding my birth mother. And, honestly, after her doubting me again I don’t even want to admit to her what I’ve been doing. She’ll probably think I’m fixating on proving I’m not the woman in the photo by digging into my past.
Nathan ends up breaking the silence by talking to Tim about football. But I can’t concentrate on a single word they’re saying, because all I’m thinking about is how disconnected I feel from my family and how I want nothing more than to go back to the person I was before.
