She turns away from me. “That’s none of your business.”
“Rachel, I think I might be the baby you gave away,” I say. “The adoption agency gave my mum a letter. It had your name and address on it.” I rummage through my bag, my fingers trembling. When I produce the letter, she won’t look at it. “I know you wanted to meet me. At some point, anyway.”
She says nothing.
“I think she might be tired,” Dina says. “Don’t take it personally.”
I nod slowly.
This is only to be expected. Rachel is very ill right now and Dina is right. I can’t take any of this personally. Rachel may have even forgotten about me, not because she doesn’t care, but because of the dementia.
I put the letter back in my bag. “It was very nice to meet you. I’m so sorry that it’s under these circumstances.” I stand up, deciding that it would be best to let her rest. But I have one more question. “Rachel, I’ve been wondering something, and I don’t know why. I can’t explain it. I have this strange feeling that I have a twin. I know this is hard for you, but can you tell me that? Did you give up twin babies?”
Rachel’s eyes grow unfocused. Then something dark crosses over her expression. She leans closer and grabs hold of my hand. As I look into the eyes of my mother, waiting for the answer, spittle forms on her lips and she says, “Get out before I say something cruel to you.”
‘THE PALMER TWINS: THE PHANTOM HALF’ BY FAYE MATHIS
She wakes at night,
Expecting a fright,
To find just an empty bed.
Her heart is heavy,
She knows already,
That you have been stolen away.
“Please tell me why?”
She screams at the sky,
Lost without her guide.
“You always knew,
What we should do.”
She cries in her borrowed nightgown.
And then she thinks, “No.
I won’t let you go.
I’ll find you wherever you are.
I’ll drag you from hell,
I’ll climb down a well,
I’ll chase you to faraway worlds.”
She hears a laugh,
Her phantom half,
Back home to haunt her at last.
