“And you do not want that blood on your hands, no matter how awful a person he is,” Elizabeth reasoned, gripping my brother’s arm tightly and steering him away towards the carriage. “He is not worth it.”
In any other situation, it would be amusing to see my brother marched around in such a way, but given the evening’s events, I opted to focus on the relief that Darcy seemed to have surrendered his desire to fight at the will of his wife.
Kitty tugged me after Elizabeth and Darcy, not letting go until she had given me her hand to help me up into the carriage.
“Would you permitmeto challenge him to a duel?” she whispered in my ear as she settled next to me on the bench.
I poked her in the ribs. “Absolutely not,” I hissed.
She was likely speaking in jest, but I wasn’t willing to take the risk that she’d be mad enough to try and someone would be mad enough to let her. Darcy might have had confidence in his abilities with a gun, but I knew Kitty had never fired one, let alone had any idea how to accurately aim. She would be sure to lose, and I refused to lose her. I rested my head on her shoulder, too wrung out to care about the audience sitting facing us.
Elizabeth had only a fond smile for me, but Darcy’s features had settled into a frown. Whether because of Wickham or because of how close I was cuddling up to Kitty, I wasn’t sure, but I couldn’t be persuaded to move. I was in no mood to give up the comfort her proximity brought me. Kitty didn’t seem keen to deny me it, either, laying her head against mine. A blonde curl tickled the side of my nose.
I stripped off my gloves and stuffed them into my reticule, pleased when Kitty did the same without me having to say a word. She slipped her hand into mine, the familiar gesture reassuring. What Darcy might have to say seemed insignificant in comparison with the motion of Kitty tracing gentle circles over my bruised knuckles.
“What did he say to you?” Darcy asked, fury lingering beneath his words. “You cannot go anywhere with him, you—”
“I know!” I protested. I hated that the lie I’d told made me look so foolish in his eyes. “I wouldn’t.”
“You have done so once before,” he pushed. “I need yourword that you have no intention of meeting him, of contacting him in any way, of—”
“Darcy,” Elizabeth interrupted him sharply. “Stop.”
“She ismyresponsibility, Elizabeth. My younger sister,” he argued. “I am in charge of keeping her safe.”
I hated that he was talking about me like I wasn’t there. I hated that he thought me so easily tricked and misguided. I hated that I was lying to him by omission, never telling him about Kitty, or about Helena. So I finally told him a kernel of the truth.
“I know he never loved me!” I interrupted the arguing. “I knew exactly what he wanted. He was only ever after my dowry, and Iknewthat.”
Both Elizabeth and Darcy turned to me, confused.
“What haven’t you told me?” my brother asked, his eyes narrowed.
There was no sense in telling another lie. I was going to tie myself entirely up in knots if I tried to lay out yet another version of events, one which had to be closer to the truth yet not veer too close to candour. Now that he was watching closely for falsehoods, Darcy would be able to see them. No matter where it left me once told, I had little option but to lay out the true events.
I let go of Kitty, shifting along the bench to put some distance between us. I was ready to tell the truth about myself, but I didn’t know for sure if she would be happy to be included in that story. That was up to her. My own lies, however, were finally ready to be unravelled.
Chapter Sixteen
Mr. Wickham was in Ramsgate when we summered there from London. I do not know if that was an accident or if he orchestrated it that way, but he secured invitations to some of the same events I attended. His intentions were clear, but I had no interest. He is not… I do not… I did not want a match.”
Elizabeth was watching me patiently, encouragingly, but I could see the speed of Darcy’s thoughts racing behind his eyes. He was desperate to interrupt with questions, but I hoped he would let me get through what I needed to say.
“There was a ball. It was nothing important, just a small affair, but there was another girl there that I was friendly with.” I left out Helena’s name. She had achieved the life she’d always wanted, with a titled husband and a baby, and I wasn’twilling to compromise that. “Partway through the evening we left the ball and found a room and…”
I looked at the floor, focusing on the frayed wear at the end of my dancing slipper ribbon. I could not watch Darcy’s face as I admitted to this. What I might see there had the power to break me entirely.
“And Wickham interrupted us a few minutes later. He caught us in an intimate moment. I had kissed her.” I was almost whispering the words, but I knew from Darcy’s quick inhale of breath that he had heard me. “She already had high prospects, and Wickham knew that, so he threatened me with his knowledge of the encounter. I was to elope with him, to allow him access to my dowry, or he would use the scandal to cast a shadow over the Darcy family name and he would ruin the other girl’s impending marriage. I had a choice, and I made what I thought was the right decision for everyone.”
Kitty’s fingers were twitching beside me, but I couldn’t take them. Not unless I wanted to force this relationship into the light, too.
“Did you know?” Darcy said, his voice so measured and low that I couldn’t detect an emotion in it.
I looked up and found him directing his question to Elizabeth. She shook her head.
“I had no idea.” She was watching me carefully, tears collected in the corners of her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Georgiana.”
“Why didn’t you tell me the truth?” Darcy directed that same flat tone to me.
