I wondered if there were worse things than what I’d seen. Of course there were—the internet knew no boundaries.
“I do take time.”
He eyed me suspiciously. “It doesn’t count if you’re playing tennis.” I smirked, sure I’d got him on this one, but he cut me off before I could speak. “Or asleep.”
He knew me too well.
We’d been working together since I was sixteen and were inseparable despite our six-year age gap.
“I know it’s been hard for you, the last few days,” he started, but I didn’t want to hear it again. I wasn’t quite done punishing myself. And there were plenty of people, and the media, lining up to do the kicking. “And that’s why we need to slow things down, tennis wise. Maybe take some time to regroup.”
“Slow down?” I stared back at him, my brows pressed together.Surely he couldn’t be serious?But he pulled back his shoulders, wind messing his black hair, the same shade as our father’s before the grey set in.
“You’ve been running yourself into the ground this past year.”
I glared at him. “It’s called working hard. All this time, the practice we’ve been putting in, has been paying off. Now isn’t the time to slow down.”
If I made it to the end stages of the US Open, I’d have achieved a career run I was only dreaming of last year, back when I was still grinding through the smaller tournaments, keeping my head down and my eye on the prize.
Now I was making finals of Grand Slams. People knewmyname. As disappointed as I was about last week, with my home slam fast approaching, I felt more determined than ever.
To lift the trophy in Queens... it would be everything I’d been working towards my entire life.
“It is if we want to do well at the US Open. I want you to be focused, and right now I’m worried there’s too much going on. You draw a lot of attention when you play aggressively,” he stressed. Wilson’s nose nuzzled at my side. I dug out a tennis ball from my pocket, teasing her with it. I threw it in the air, finding myself covered in sand as she ran to catch it mid-air.
“We’ve got some time here, a few weeks before everything begins again. And I want you to use some of that time for something other than tennis.”
My jaw fell open. “Otherthan tennis?”
He rolled his eyes as if the idea wasn’t a step away from insanity. “Yes, go hang out with friends. See that boyfriend of yours.” I shook my head, but Calvin cut me off before I could say anything else. “Crack open a beer. Get drunk. Do something stupid and easy. And please God, stay away from the press.”
If our parents found out what he was suggesting, they’d have a breakdown.
“The sponsors don’t seem to mind the media storm,” I pointed out. If anything, that had been the only good thing to come out of my stupidity. They say there’s no such thing as bad press.
“They will if you burn out. And I want you in your best shape mentally for the tournament in Washington,” he said. “Do you know what it feels like to sit courtside, watching you crack? I see it in your eyes, like you’re disappearing inside yourself. And I can’t stop it. Chloe, you’re not a machine. You need rest.”
Calvin paused, looking away from me and instead down the shoreline. The waves crashing against the white sandy beach, the blue skies for miles and miles. This place was home, the only one I’d ever known. Whenever I left, I always counted down the days until I returned.
“I’m supposed to look out for you, and when you burn out like that, in front of everyone, I can’t protect you.” My heart ached for my brother, for everything he’d given me. He was always there, always coming when I needed.
He looked directly at me, his sea-green eyes meeting mine. “So, I need you to learn how to do that yourself, how to take a breath when everything is going wrong. And that starts with a little rest.”
I sighed. “This year... things are happening. I’ve gotten back to where I should be. If I hadn’t taken that year out—”
“If you hadn’t taken that time off, I don’t want to think where you’d be.” He raised his hands. “But it certainly wouldn’t be on a tennis court.”
I couldn’t meet his gaze as I thought back to how dark sixteen had felt. Back when I didn’t understand my own brain and what it needed, only what our parents had impressed on us. It took a lot of work to put myself back together and a lot more time than I’d wanted. A year off had felt like it could hold me back, but in the end, it was time I needed.
A twist of guilt struck again, but it changed into determination, into the driving force I’d been riding all year. “I don’t want to slow down.”
“I just want you to take a few days,” he said, his tone changing into something lighter. “Go out. Be twenty-two.”
“What if I don’tknowhow to be twenty-two?”
“I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” Calvin replied. I didn’t bother to point out that at my age, he was beginning to coach me, taking me pro, not exactly a time for enjoyment. “Just have some fun. Avoid picking up a racket.”
I laughed, turning to walk back down the beach. “What if I pick up a racketforfun?”
