I laughed. “Jessamine. I have wanted that from the first time I watched over you, when you were laying in my tent at my hunting camp.”
“You have not. You hated me then.”
I snorted. “Female, that is an unholy falsehood.”
“Then why haven’t you given me your mark?” she asked softly. “We’re mates. You said so.”
I nodded, holding one of her hands in both of mine, my body angled so that I could look at her.
“Once I bite you, my scent will remain on you forever. If you change your mind and decide in a year or two, or ten, that clan life isn’t what you want for yourself, that you’d prefer someone of your own kind, a more comfortable life in Morodon, you will never have another male. They will never want a female with the smell of another embedded in their skin. Especially a beast fae.”
“I thought that beast fae mated for life.”
“They do,” I assured her. “That’s what I’m telling you. I will have no other. And no other will have you once my mark is on you. It will spoil any chance you have of seeking another life elsewhere.”
“But I want my life with you. Here. I don’t want a life elsewhere.”
My heart lifted at her confidence, but she was a skald fae. And a princess at that. I knew that she’d been raised with comforts and riches that we did not have. While she enjoyed clan life for the brief time we had been together, a lifetime was an entirely different thing.
“I simply want to give you time, to give you the choice to choose me. To choose the clan of Vanglosa. Once it’s done, there’s no going back.”
She frowned as she stared down at our entwined fingers. “How long do you think I need to make this decision?”
I had already thought about this a great deal. It pained me to give her time. The beast inside me wanted to push her down and embed his fangs in her right now, this very instant. But I would not be a tyrant and take without a thought or care like my father had done to my mother. I would not become a male like him, a beast fae with no honor.
“When we return to Vanglosa, you will give me your answer. If,” I hesitated, taking a breath, “if your answer is what I hope for, then we will be bound at the kella’mir under the sacred tree of our clan.”
She nodded, staring down where I held her hand. “I wish winter was over now.”
Pressing the back of her hand to my mouth, I whispered, “It pleases my heart to hear you say so. I want to be sure you feel just as certain at the end of winter.”
“I had no idea you were such a patient male,” she teased, smiling up at me.
I laughed. “I am not. Not at all.” My smile slipped. “But I will not become my father and force my female into a life she does not want.”
Her brows knit together. “What happened with your father?”
For the first time in my entire life, I wanted to tell someone. No, I wanted to tellher.If she knew my harrowing past and stillaccepted me, it might absolve me of this guilt that weighed on me so heavily, this wrongdoing of my father’s that followed me like a ghostly shadow.
“My father made the greatest mistake a beast fae, especially a beast fae lord, can make.” I met her gaze, owning my father’s sin before it left my lips. “He met my mother at the end-of-winter gathering of the clans at Jôhl Tundra. She was the daughter of the lord of the Bolgar Clan. She was beautiful and coveted by many males. My father believed she was meant for him.”
I paused, my throat thickening the closer I got to mentioning the damning offense he committed.
“My mother was in love with another, a warrior named Gunlyn of her own clan. Father knew this. Gunlyn and my mother planned to consummate their bond at the winter gathering. It is a custom, with many choosing that celebratory moment to couple and discover if the gods have blessed them as mates.”
My memory drifted, remembering my own mother telling me this story. I’d found her crying more than once over the years as a boy. She would then hide her tears and tell me it was nothing. But one day, when I’d reached my final teen year and was to become a warrior of our clan, she told me the truth.
“But before Gunlyn and my mother could do so, Father took her into the woods and mounted her, against her will. She was not his mate, but his lust and desire for her to be his queen was too great.” I cleared my throat and turned to look away, watching the flames lick up in the pit next to the bed. “He threatened her, saying that if she didn’t keep quiet about the fact that knotting hadn’t occurred in their coupling, he would kill her beloved.”
“Oh, Redvyr.” Jessamine’s pained whisper was awful. I couldn’t bear to look her in the eyes. Especially since I wasn’t done yet.
“My mother protected her love, Gunlyn, and bound herself to my father. It took her many years to conceive me, and I was their only child. But on the day of the kella’mir that made me an official warrior of the Vanglosa clan, she pulled me aside from the celebration. She hugged me and gave me her blessings, told me she knew I would one day be a lord that everyone would respect and love, and then she left.”
I closed my eyes, wishing I could change history, go back and stop her.
“We found my mother floating in Lake Moreen the next day.”
She gasped, clenching one of my hands in both of hers. Before she could tell me how awful it was, I quickly finished the story.
