My breathing slowed. And there it was again. For a second time, this skald fae female had entranced me, pushing my animal rage away. My fury cooled while I held her gaze and luxuriated in her soft caress on my skin. She brushed one thumb back and forth along the swift pulse at my wrist, her other thumb brushing my chest.
The first time she’d done this, I had felt confusion and shame. How could a light fae do what none of my own kind has ever been able to do? How did she so swiftly calm the beast? And this time, she’d done itbeforeI’d drawn blood from my target. This had never happened. I didn’t understand how or why the gods would put someone like her in my life to do the one thing no other could. Someone who was not my mate and never would belong in my clan. It was maddening.
Trapped in her emerald gaze, I forced myself to look away, wishing I hadn’t. For Bezaliel watched me with complete shock, his eyes wide with wonder and confusion. It grated me that he’d seen my weakness to her. I realized then that I’d do anything for this woman, and she wasn’t even mine. She could never be mine.
“There’s Flaxon,” said Tessa, pointing across the field.
Not far along the road from Hellamir was Flaxon in his cart.
“Good,” I snapped, stepping away from Jessamine. “Let’s get to the cabin so we can trade and get out of here as soon as possible.”
I stormed away back along the path into the woodlands, noting that Wolf took his place at Jessamine’s side. Good. She had my hound to protect her. I could keep my distance and fulfill my oath of protection. I walked faster.
Bezaliel caught up to my side. “Redvyr,” was all he said in a grave voice.
“I know. There’s no need to say anything.”
“But I think there is.”
“What?” I snapped. “That the gods like to play games with me? This, we already know.”
He scoffed. “I think the gods have given you a gift. This female.”
I looked at him in disbelief. “Youaremad. She isn’t beast fae.”
“Neither is Tessa. And yet she is mine. The gods have declared it.”
I laughed with derision. “The gods would not give her to me.”
“Why would you say that? Because of your father? His sins do not fall upon your head.”
“But they do, Bezaliel. I have the same feral rage. My mother couldn’t quell it, and it led to her death.”
“She wasn’t his mate, Red. You know this. That was one of your father’s sins. He took a female to bed and beget his heir with one who wasn’t given to him by the gods.”
It was true. But that was why I’d felt the gods hated me so much. A child born of a beast fae pair unsanctioned by the gods was often considered cursed. My father had lied to his clan to keep my mother in his possession. I was a product of my father’s selfishness and lust and greed, so why would the gods show me any favor?
“Are you hearing me?” my friend asked in a hushed whisper, though we moved farther ahead of the females and Wolf.
“I hear you. So the gods have deemed me worthy of a light fae witch to ease my rage for a while. It will be that much more painful when she returns to her own kind.”
“By the gods, you’re an idiot.”
I snapped my head to him. “What have I done now?”
“They’ve given her to you because she isyours, Redvyr. She is your mate.”
I came to a complete stop and faced him. Even in the dark, we could see each other clearly because of our heightened senses. The females were making their way slowly along the path, chatting softly. I could still smell the sweet-and-salty scent of her.
“Vix would never give someone like her to me, Bezaliel.”
“Why not? What’s wrong with her?”
“Nothing.” I huffed. “Absolutely nothing. She is beautiful and kind. And powerful. And perfect. That’s why the gods wouldn’t give her to me.”
I wasn’t worthy of someone like Jessamine. A sickly feeling swirled in my gut. Bezaliel didn’t understand what it was like to have your father’s sins follow you like a never-ending shadow, a constant reminder that I must pay for his sins. This was why I always tried my damnedest to be the best clan leader, the best protector I could.
Bezaliel smirked and arched a brow. “There is one way to test that theory.”
