“I’ll come back with you,” Adam is saying, but his voice is distant to me now, muted by the rumble that’s gaining strength.
It’ll be him that sets it off, if I let him. If I don’t find some way to stop him before I get buried.
“I can help,” he’s saying, and that’s when I know.
That’s when I know how to stop him, even as I know how bad I’m about to hurt him. Even as I know I’m telling him another half-truth, the one that gets me out of this faster.
Huge Adam Hawkins, hardworking Adam Hawkins. Heart-of-gold Adam Hawkins.
I’d do anything for him.
So that’s why I do this.
“You can’t, Adam.”
I make sure I make my voice firm. I make sure I sound like the Jess he met two weeks ago. Not the Jess from this morning, from his hotel room in Missouri. Not the Jess from the field or the trampoline. Not even the Jess that sat silently beside him early on.
“You can’t help, because you’re the one who brought this to my door.”
Chapter 29
Charlotte Caulfield:Well. It’s just us girls now, isn’t it?
Durant:That’s a strange thing to say.
C. Caulfield:Is it?
Durant:Yes. You understand that I’m here to interview you, right? That we’re not friends.
C. Caulfield:Oh, I definitely understand that. But we have something in common, of course.
Durant:We do?
C. Caulfield:I don’t think we need to do that, Salem. Lynton and I were very close, as I’ve told you. We were truly in love, you know? He was always honest with me about you.:: long pause::
Durant:I don’t know what you mean by that. I don’t know why you’d think he was honest about anything.
C. Caulfield:So you didn’t have . . . a bit of an attachment to him?
Durant:I—
C. Caulfield:He had one to you; he always said so. He said you were the smartest woman he ever met. He said he barely had to explain a thing to you about his work. He missed you, when things ended.
Durant:By things, you mean the podcast?
C. Caulfield:Is that what you mean?
Durant:Charlotte, I don’t really know what you’re getting at. I want to talk to you about—
C. Caulfield:He was serious, you know. When he asked you to come with him.Thatconversation never made it into your show, of course! He planned to tell you about his diagnosis and everything, once he was released. It could’ve been you, sitting here! Not that you would’ve chosen a houseboat. But Lynton—he was a changeable spirit. He decided on another path.
:: long pause::
Durant:Again, I don’t know what you mean. I was married with a young child when I did the Baltimore story. Whatever he told you—
C. Caulfield:Suit yourself. I won’t press the point. Do you want more water?
Durant:No. Thank you.
