“The worst of it was not knowing if you were okay. Everything else, I can handle.”
Maybe I say this more confidently than I deserve to, given some of my lower moments over this past weekend.
But right this second, Reid doesn’t need to know about those.
Reid shakes his head. He idly toys with the buttons at his wrists, as though he’s considering undoing them. “There was this window,” he says quietly. “After they took my phone, I mean. I had to turn it over for a couple of days. Anyway, there was this short window of time where I could call you. And then I . . .”
He trails off, stops with the buttons. His face flushes. “I couldn’t remember your phone number. In my phone, you’re the letters of your name. I’d never memorized the number.”
He sounds so utterly stunned by this. I can imagine him somewhere, a phone clutched in his hand, his heart thudding in panic, numbers failing him.
“And then it was chaos. For hours and hours.”
“It must’ve been awful,” I say. I reach out, over the pages of the letter. I gently unbutton his cuffs for him, and he watches silently until I finish.
“Once your name hit the news, I—well, I’m reasonably sure I threatened Vic. To let me go to you. It’s all something of a blur.”
“Wow. I’ve seen you throw a punch, Hotshot, but I’m pretty sure you’re not a match for Vic.”
For the first time since I’ve gotten here, I see the barest flicker of theswoonsh, but then it fades. “I can’t imagine what you thought.”
I swallow. I could lie, but the pages between us are all about honesty. A contract, or rules for a game. And I’m not breaking them.
“I didn’t know what to think, at first. I admit that I . . . I guess I felt some doubt. About what you’d told me, about you and Avery. About who you’d told about the program.”
He looks up at me. “You have a lot of reason to doubt people,” he says. “You can’t know how sorry I am that I’m now another one of those people.”
“Reid, I don’t doubt you. Not now.”
But I can tell he doesn’t quite believe me. He looks down again, to his now-unbuttoned cuffs. I reach out, tug gently on one of them.
“Reid,” I say again. “I know you. I know your heart. You were under so much stress, and maybe you made some mistakes. But I know you didn’t mean for this to happen.” I rest my hand on top of his letter. “I believe you.”
“How, Meg?” His voice is low, raspy from the tears he’d shed against my body. “I hid so many things from you.”
I shrug. “I hid things, too.”
He looks up at me, his gaze dismissive. “The program is nothing, Meg. That’s over. You know I don’t—”
“I didn’t mean the program.”
He shakes his head. He’s still fighting me so hard. “You didn’t hide anything like this.” He gestures idly to the now-empty table.
I don’t bother to look over at it. I keep my eyes fixed on him.
“I hid that I’m in love with you. That I’ve been in love with you. For a long time.”
I pick up the pages of his letter, move them to the other side of me. Then I shift, turning to the side, moving closer to him. I put my hand on his cheek, turn his face toward mine. I look into his sad, disbelieving eyes. His shoulders are still tight with tension. Stoic, stern,Masterpiece TheatreReid. He never has been quite what he seemed on the outside, but I always knew that. I always saw something else inside him. From that very first day.
“I love you,” I repeat, and he closes his eyes. I lean in and press a kiss to his temple, trail my lips over his scarred brow.One, I don’t say. I move to his cheek, brush my lips back and forth there.Two, I don’t say. I pause with my lips in front of his.Three, I’m begging him silently, but I don’t move.
Then he whispers, “I love you, too.”
And he kisses me.
Every kiss I’ve ever had with Reid has meant something—lust, welcome, comfort, reassurance, even love. But this is the first kiss I’ve ever had with him that feels like a promise, a commitment. It’s soft and unhurried at first, and at one point, Reid has to reach up to gently swipe yet another tear from my cheek. But when he licks at my lips, it grows more intense, more desperate, all our fear and confusion from these last few days living between us as we cling together.
We won’t be apart again, this kiss says.
