Read a paper in Nature that says there’s an eight-unit cell crystal in a high performance steel
I tell myself I’m only going to allow myself a minute to wait for a response. If there’s nothing, I’ll go out and watch the game with Dad and Sharon, see if she’s replied later. But it’s maybe thirty seconds before I see that she’s typing, her texts coming in quick succession, the first what I can only guess is a text-expression of outrage:
!!!
I’m smiling already.
But their samples were electropolished, and they didn’t know the position of the particle in the foil. How could they know if it was on the surface or in the middle or on the bottom of the foil? They didn’t account for the natural oxide layer that forms on the sample, either. They were probably measuring the crystal structure of a surface layer and not of their particle.
Two texts and I’m way outside my pay grade in terms of the science, but I don’t care. I’d read her texts about crystal structure all night—I’m that excited she’s talking to me. Another one, even before I start typing a response:
They did all this fancy modeling to back up what they saw on the microscope, but their model is incomplete. They didn’t account for the position of the crystal, the surface layers, amorphous layers, or the shape of the particle.
I’m typing back, telling her I’ve read her paper from two years ago, the one that’s dealing with the same stuff as theNaturepaper, but before I press send her next message comes.
Come back to my office Monday night, 7 pm. I’ll show you where they went wrong.
I resist the urge to stand on my bed and pound my chest with victory. Instead, I text her back that I’ll be there.
That’ll be okay,she writes, with your dad and everything?
It’s a kindness, I think, that she checks about this, and I feel a strange gratitude for it and for her, for the distraction of these last couple of hours, immersing myself first in her world and then in this conversation.I’ll make it work, I type back. I stand from my bed, stretch my arms over my head. I need to get out there and get Dad ready for bed. I need to get some rest myself, especially since I’m going to spend a good portion of tomorrow dealing with a sulky teenager. I’m tucking my phone into my back pocket when it chimes one more time.
I know what you’re doing, Tucker, it says. I just like showing people my microscope.
I’m grinning, staring down at my phone, but I don’t respond. For the first time since I’ve met her, I think maybe I’ve got her on the ropes.
Chapter 5
Kit
In the days since I sent Ben a text inviting him to my office, I’ve alternated between barely acknowledged anticipation and loudly proclaimed dread. When I meet Zoe and Greer for breakfast on Sunday morning, I blurt out the whole story—the fact that I called him about knobs, the visit to the salvage yard, the very fetching way he looks when in pursuit of a young criminal.
“You’re screwed,” says Zoe, stuffing a huge bite of whipped-cream-topped waffle in her mouth.
We’re at the Outcast Diner, one of our favorite spots in the brick-streeted historic district that’s adjacent to my neighborhood. Unlike at Betty’s, hipsters haven’t really caught on here, and other than the three of us, the clientele is mostly of the golden years variety, especially since we come early. We sit on mismatched wood chairs around a small table that Zoe’s stabilized with a stack of sugar packets. All around us, on the brightly painted yellow walls, are framed paper placemats that customers have drawn on over years. It’s a bit run down, the Outcast, but the coffee is hot and the maple syrup is real.
“I’mnot,” I say, taking a bite of my oatmeal.
“But youwishyou were,” says Greer, and Zoe cracks a laugh, so impressed by Greer’s unexpected dirty joke that she gives her a high-five. Greer blushes, because she’s adorable.
“You guys aren’t helpful. Why did Idothat? Now I’m going to have to talk to him again, and this time about his stupid job offer.”
“Who cares?” asks Zoe.“You’re not going to take it, so let him say his piece, and move on.” She leans forward and raises her eyebrows.“And by ‘move on,’ I mean let him touch your…”
“Oh myGod,” I say, and put my forehead on the table.“It’s not like that,” I mumble, but it is completely like that, in my mind, at least. What was an annoying attraction before became a full-blown crush on Thursday when I’d seen Ben at the salvage yard. There’s this—sweetness to him, which I’d noticed not only in his interaction with his dad, but also in the way he’d watched that kid he’d chased down, this leashed protectiveness he’d had for a vulnerable boy who had done him wrong.
And then he texted me about crystal structure.
Zoe is right, of course—not that I’ll say that to her—but I know that this really comes down to letting Ben give me his pitch under less tense circumstances than we were in during our first meeting, and politely declining. It’s not as if he’s the first person I’ve had to speak to about work. I’d fielded offers from private firms before—nothing as big or prestigious as Beaumont, but still. I’m as sure now as I was then that I’m in the right place, professionally and personally, and so it shouldn’t bother me to say that to Ben when the time comes.
And yet it does, somehow—or at least it bothers me to have to confront the idea at all. I went to therapy for long enough to know at least part of what this is about. I don’t like change. I don’t like theideaof change, and however convinced I am about my life now, it’s easy for me to feel threatened by any alteration to it. Even the last night I spent in my shitty apartment, I’d cried myself to sleep, thinking of the years I’d spent there, the longest stretch I’d ever had in a single place. I was almost grateful that I woke up with a dead stink bug on my pillow. At least that eliminated most of the nostalgia.
“Sweetie,” Greer says, patting my forearm.“You’re getting oatmeal in your hair.”
I raise my head with a sigh, grab my napkin to clean up. Greer has mercy on me and changes the subject. She’s not sure about the classes she’s picked for the fall semester, and pretty soon Zoe and I are both wrapped up in talking it through with her. When we stand and gather our things an hour later, I’m lighter, more at ease—it’s what we do for each other. It’s what I’d never give up about these women.“What’s on for the rest of the day, Kit?” asks Zoe, slinging her purse over her shoulder.
“I’m going to try and do some work outside,” I say.“Weeding. Either of you two want to help?”
