Aubrey’s phone dings with another text. This one from Noreen. She quickly swipes.
Noreen:The police called me in for questioning. I’m worried I may need a lawyer. Mallory’s going to need one too. And still all I can think is poor Grayson. Oh, and y’all need anything? I’ve got my mom’s muesli muffin recipe memorized!
“Aubrey...” Mallory says slowly, apparently having read over Aubrey’s shoulder.
“It’s going to be all right,” Aubrey says. One hand takes Mallory’s, and the other intertwines with Ilena’s as she leads them back to the couch. “I think you should both sit down.”
And—as if Aubrey being in charge isn’t unusual—they do.
50
Ilena
Thursday Morning
Seven DaysAfterthe Outing
The Day AIM Actually Goes Public
Ilena wakes to total darkness. She fumbles to free herself from the silk eye mask, but it’s still too dim to make out anything but the barest of outlines. A frame on the opposite wall hanging above something long and squat... a driftwood chest.Her driftwood chest.She casts off the duvet and rushes to the window, yanking the cord on the blackout shade so hard it snaps.
White flowers burst forth amid lush green leaves on the ring of hydrangeas encircling the manicured lawn of the small backyard she never quite used enough. She presses a palm to the glass, her opal ring tapping against it, and breathes.
She leans against the window, her body taking longer than she expects to meet the sill. This body—her body—is as foreign as it is familiar. She wraps her arms around her midsection, telling herself that you can’t lose something you never actually had. Unlike Mallory, she’s never been a very good liar.
She stays there, accepting the sorrow she knew would come. As the pink of the sky gives way to blue, she turns to check the time on the compass rose clock. Not even 6 a.m., but Jonah’s side of the bed remains smooth, not a corner of the white bamboo sheet out of place. She clicks on the lamp. It’s the only object on a nightstand usually crowded with medical journals and chargers and his stack of sci-fi TBRs. She nears the driftwood chest and opens it. His sweaters remain, but his running clothes and polo shirts are gone. He’s not just on call for the night. He’s living somewhere else.
For how long? Since when? She has no memory of what’s transpired in the time she’s been gone. Maybe she and Jonah discussed his moving out at length. Maybe they didn’t discuss it at all. Or maybe he just told her and she just said “fine” like with the divorce. As she circles the bed, she passes the clothes she wore to the outing here. She must have worn them last night, just as they’d planned. Unless the outingwaslast night.
She lunges for her phone, housed in its usual crisp, clear case. The same amount of time has passed. Part of her was wishing it hadn’t, as if that would confirm it all having been a dream and not something she can never really explain. She starts a text to Mallory, debating what to say. Something that won’t make her seem unhinged if this was all a delusion, something that’ll tell her if she’s the only one who remembers the other reality or the only one who made it back.
Ilena:I’m not pregnant.
Three little dots appear.
Mallory:Thank god.
Mallory:But I’m sorry. It looked good on you.
Ilena:So that happened then.
Mallory:Christ, this is wild. How are you?
Ilena’s eyes sweep over the linen-tufted headboard and the blue porcelain lamps that she and Jonah picked out after having lunch on Newbury Street. The bottle of wine they split meant they spent more on the lamps than they would have otherwise. More than they should have. But they’ve never regretted it. It was the first thing they bought for the house.
Ilena:It’s difficult. But—
She was going to sayright. But she’s not sure if it is. A feeling she’s going to have to learn to live with.
Ilena:At least we’re here together.
Mallory sends an uncharacteristic string of hearts that Ilena is sure is a direct result of Harley’s influence.
Ilena:I’ll check on Aubrey.
She sends the same text to Aubrey, whose response brings both relief and sadness.
Aubrey:Oh, oh, I didn’t know you thought you were! To find out the same day as we go public and with Jonah moving out. I’m so sorry, Ilena. If you need to skip the bell ringing at the office, M and I will cover. Xoxo
