That cough. He’d heard it often enough, especially when they’d first moved to America. During those long nights, if Avi woke up too, Krish had cuddled his toddler brother so their mom could be left alone to her grief. “I recognized the way you clear your throat when you’re trying to hide your tears.”
Her eyes were still wet. “I’m not going to apologize for following you.”
“You put a tracker on us?” Sejal answered her own question right away. “Of course you did.”
Aarthi pushed Isha’s empty cup away. “So. You’re a daughter of the old Cobra? Sister of the current one.”
“I guess I am.”
“Krish, you brought Cobra’sdaughterto my safe house?”
Krish squeezed Sejal’s thigh when she tensed. No, they were not going to do this. “I told you before. Sejal is not her parents. She compromised nothing.”
Aarthi looked like she wanted to argue that point, but she must have heard the finality in Krish’s voice. “Was the Ivanovitch drama even true?”
“Yes. But we handled it.” Krish crushed a napkin between his fingers. “He’s no longer a threat.”
“But you were together so you could get to Cobra and get information on your brother. So I was right, that she wasn’t your girlfriend.”
Sejal leaned forward, like she was sharing a secret. “He thought us posing as girlfriend and boyfriend would make you ask fewer questions.”
His mother gaped at him. “You thought springing a girlfriend on me would result inlessquestions?”
Krish pinched the bridge of his nose. Yes, obviously, in hindsight,he’d made a lot of foolish choices on this trip. “We were not dating when we first saw you.”
“And now?”
They looked at each other. “It’s...”
“Complicated,” Krish finished. Complicated only because they hadn’t discussed what was going to happen once this was all over. He knew what he wanted.
Or at least, he knew what he was going to ask for. Sejal might shoot him down, but he hadn’t come all the way across the country, impersonating an FBI agent, to get cold feet now.
Aarthi dug her fingers into her eye sockets. “Wonderful. One of my sons ran off to God knows where, and the other one is in somethingcomplicatedwith a Cobra spawn.”
“Yeah, I definitely don’t like that description,” Sejal remarked.
“Nor do I. Watch it, Mother.”
“You cannot blame me for being dismayed. I came all the way to this country, spent my whole life teaching you everything you needed to know so you and your brother could have bright futures. Imagine how I feel right now.”
Krish understood his mom’s anger. She’d given up everything after his dad’s death—her country, her family, her career—for them to be able to thrive, and his brother had gone and done something wildly reckless. A little perspective was needed, though, some shades of gray, but he’d only been able to find that after Sejal had prompted him to open his eyes.
I love you, Avi. I need to come to terms with you not being who I thought you were, but I love you, and I wantyouback.“You were so proud of Avi once. You never failed to remind me of that.”
“I was proud of you, too. I told you all the time. When you got your master’s—”
“When I got my master’s, you told me it was nice, safe work, even if it wouldn’t change the world.” Those words had haunted him throughout his career.
God. It felt good to get this off his chest.
“Krish, I didn’t mean it like that. I love you both.”
“Yes. You love us fiercely, but you don’t love us unconditionally. Because you can’t love yourself unconditionally. You said it yourself. My face is your failure. How could you love me or yourself if you think of failure when you look at me?”
Aarthi drew back. He knew he was skating the thin line of berating his mother in this Indian restaurant, but his emotions were overwhelming him. All of the stress and tension since his brother had disappeared, since he’d fought with his mother, since he’d essentially dragged an innocent woman into his quest, all came together in a fiery, passionate ball. “I appreciate that you had high standards for us. But what I don’t appreciate is how you always pitted Avi and me against each other. Every insecurity I have is tied to how I can’t measure up to him, and here it turns out he ran because he feared he couldn’t measure up to me.” Krish gave a hollow laugh. “Isn’t that irony?”
Sejal scooted closer so she was pressed up against him. He welcomed her presence, silent and encouraging.
