Her gaze rested on his shoulder and the black tattoo there. “This part of your tattoo... it is a nod to Robert, isn’t it?”
He glanced at his shoulder. “Yeah. He showed me his tattoo when I was young, told me about how the design was intensely personal to the Kanes.” His lips quirked. A sheen of sweat covered his tan skin. “Actually, looking back, that was probably the first time I wanted to go into the tattoo industry. I liked the idea of giving people something they love forever.”
He was poetic in the oddest ways. “Did you get the tattoo before he died?”
The skin around his eyes tightened. “After. I went to Hawaii. Got it done the old-fashioned way, hand-tapping.”
She didn’t know what that was, but it sounded painful. “Did it hurt a lot?”
“Like a bitch.” But he grinned, like the memory was good. “The guy I found didn’t want to do it, initially. I guess he was tired of white guys coming down and getting Hawaiian ink. I had to explain.” His smile faded, and her chest ached.
She knew what it was like, to feel like you didn’t belong. She moved closer to him and kissed his shoulder. “I like it.”
“Thanks.” He pulled her closer, until she was almost on top of him. It was contact that probably meant nothing to him, but she luxuriated in the cuddle.
He frowned at her and she instantly grew worried. “Is something wrong?”
“No. I—hmm. I felt a bit of déjà vu for a second.”
“How so?”
His hand drew up her arm and he tested the flesh there. “Never mind. Not important.”
If he said it wasn’t important, she wouldn’t stress about it. She lay on his chest and listened to his heart beat. His arms were so big and secure around her. She snuggled deeper and drew her leg up between his, delighting in the way the crinkly hair on his legs abraded her smoother ones. “I could stay here forever,” she murmured.
The muscles of his stomach tightened, something shifting in the air. Oh shit. Her stupid romantic soul.
She tried to cover it up by rolling away, though it hurt to leave the circle of his arms. It hurt more when he sat up immediately and swung off the bed, grabbing his underwear and jeans. She tugged the blanket up over herself, feeling a little too exposed.
Damn it. “I’m sorry.”
He drew his jeans on. “It’s fine. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
He was lying. She swallowed the lump in her throat. She didn’t want him to leave like this. “I didn’t mean—”
“Don’t worry about anything, okay?”
She had to restrain herself from apologizing a million times, because that would only call more attention to her faux pas. He finished getting dressed and stepped close to the bed and dropped a kiss on her forehead. “Thanks,” he whispered. “This was great.”
Words he’d probably said to a million women. And now she had to grin and act breezy, even though she didn’t feel like it, because that was how the game was played. So she smiled up at him. Corners up, no teeth bared. “Yup.”
The relief in his gaze was a prick to her pride, but she buried it deep. This was fine. This was all she could have. And it would be enough.
Chapter 21
Livvy ran a brush through her hair and watched the black, purple, pink, and blue shuffle together in the mirror. She’d had her color done before she’d gotten sick, but the lighter colors were already fading. Too much sun and heat. She might have to touch it up before the wedding the day after tomorrow.
The day after tomorrow.
Her stomach lurched, and it wasn’t from a virus.
It had felt right to have their wedding on her birthday. For ten years, they’d met secretly in various parts of the country on that date. She’d come to dread and anticipate the day in equal measure.
She didn’t dread the day after tomorrow this year, because it wouldn’t be a secret. She was excited. Thrilled. Scared.
Nicholas readjusted his body on the bed behind her. His knee joints creaked, reminding her that he wasn’t nineteen anymore. She wasn’t sixteen. They were adults, there was no curse, and the wedding would go off without a hitch.
Her gaze softened as she watched him in the mirror. His brow furrowed, and she knew him well enough to surmise something on his tablet was upsetting him. “I said no work,” she reminded him.
