Livvy bit her lip. Shit. “I mean, you know. He said it that time I told you about.” It wasn’t a lie. It wasn’t the full truth either, but it wasn’t a lie.
No one can know.They would hold firm on that part of their agreement. They could resolve whatever was between them without anyone else getting hurt.
Sadia’s brow cleared. “Oh, right. Well, I know John tried to talk to Paul a couple of times, but Paul refused.”
“I’m probably going to see John again soon. Maybe you and Kareem could come with me.”
Sadia wrinkled her nose. “To be honest, Livvy, I’m not too eager to introduce Kareem to the whole Kane-Chandler dynamic. It messed Paul up. Being an heir to C&O was his whole identity, and once it was gone, he didn’t know who he was.”
“None of us knew who we were after it was gone. It’s hard to go from feeling so certain about what your life is and then having it ripped away from you.”
“I have no doubt. But you found yourself, Livvy.”
Livvy raised an eyebrow. Had she?
“Paul...” Sadia frowned. “Paul didn’t. Being a small-business owner and my husband and Kareem’s father—any and all of those things could have defined him, but they came in second place to what he’d lost.”
Though Livvy hadn’t spoken to her brother for a long time, she could see that being the case. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Paul was responsible for himself.”
Livvy nodded slowly. On the list of things she needed to deal with from her past, her estrangement from Paul would have to be one that couldn’t be resolved. Whatever regrets and sorrow she had about their relationship would be ones she carried. “Right.”
“Don’t get me wrong, though. I’m happy you saw John and I hope you can get some closure with him.”
“Yes, well, that was the reason I went to see him. I needed it.” She drank her coffee. “Jackson was right. It was unrealistic to think I could only confront tiny parts of my past.” But he’d been wrong about those parts being unresolvable.
Sadia froze. “Wait. You talked to Jackson?”
“Not much. He saw me for about two minutes, then got on his bike to go to New York.”
“YousawJackson? He was in town?”
Oof. She hadn’t thought about how Sadia would feel about that. “Yeah.”
“What... but he didn’t even come to Paul’s funeral!”
“He said he couldn’t.” The bit about being in jail, Livvy would keep to herself. It wasn’t that she was ashamed of her brother. She didn’t know enough of the story to relate it to anyone.
“Yeah. Right.” Sadia’s lips thinned so much they practically disappeared.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I’m not upset. I don’t understand why he’d showup now when he couldn’t be bothered for anything else.”
Sadia was totally upset. But Livvy wasn’t about to rile her up further.
Her friend attacked the shreds of the scone. “Is he gone for good?”
“I got a text this morning saying he’d be back tomorrow.” Livvy finished her cookie. “I can tell him to come see you.”
“Whatever.” Sadia tossed down the food she’d been playing with and came to her feet. “I haven’t seen him in years. What do I care if he doesn’t bother to see his sister-in-law and nephew? I don’t care at all.”
“Uh.” It sounded like she cared an awful lot, but Livvy wasn’t in a hurry to point that out. “Okay.”
Sadia smiled, though it was nothing more than a fierce baring of her teeth. “Listen, I have to run. I want to check in on Kareem before my sister comes over to watch him while I’m at the bar.”
Part of Livvy wanted to pursue this, but Sadia had said she liked space. Plus, she wasn’t sure what else to say. Jackson was complicated. “That’s fine.” Livvy grabbed the food and said her goodbyes to Sadia. It wasn’t until she checked her phone in the car that she realized she’d received a text.
