So why did you call yourself weak?
Because it was far easier to be kind to other people than it was to be kind to herself.I deserve compassion.Ugh. She did. She really did.
Tani fiddled with her collar.
Livvy scuffed her toes on the carpet, wishing she knew how to speak to her mother. “You know, it’s funny you asked for watercolors. Watercolors are kind of my specialty, you know. I love the finished product, how it’s supposed to look imperfect. How people celebrate its flaws and find beauty in it.”
Her mother eyed her. “What on earth are you talking about?”
She bit her lip, regretting the silly words. “I don’t know. Thinking about things we have in common, I guess.”
Tani’s eyes gleamed. “Do not see that boy.”
Livvy stiffened.Selfish, greedy bastards, Paul whispered in her ear. If anyone had a beef with the Chandlers, it would be Tani. “I know you hate—”
Her mother spoke over her. “You said you can empathize with me. I can empathize with how crushed you felt then.” Tani met her gaze. “The difference between you and me and how we lost our partners is Nicholas left you voluntarily.”
Livvy had to stop herself from buckling under that harsh reminder. “Oh.”
“I do not want to see you hurt like that ever again.” Tani picked up her remote and refocused on the T.V. “Go to bed now.”
Unable to compose any kind of response, Livvy dumbly left, closing the door behind her.
Her chest ached and her cheeks were dried out from too many tears. She’d probably weep more tonight, and curse Nicholas’s name.
The darkness wasn’t swallowing her whole, though. Maybe it would later. Maybe it would be triggered by something unrelated to Nicholas. And how he left her.
Why had her mother had to say that to her? It was so needlessly cruel and—
Think about what else she said.
Livvy stopped on the stairs.
I do not want to see you hurt like that ever again.
Livvy blinked. Her mother cared.
So did Maile, who would hug her and pet her. So did Sadia, who would feed and fuss and threaten to stab people for her.
A tiny kernel of contentment bloomed inside her. Connections. She may have gotten her heart batted around, but she’d found what she’d come here for.
Livvy continued up the stairs. She’d battle the darkness with whatever tools she could find.
Chapter 19
NICHOLAS CHASEDa tomato around his plate. His father and grandfather had escalated from quiet disapproval to outraged shouts twenty minutes ago. The prison-labor scandal was resolved as best it could be, but the men had started arguing over the scope and cost of the investigation.
His sister sat quietly across from him at the boardroom table. Eve had tried to talk to him before the meeting, but he hadn’t been able to concentrate on the annual gala the foundation was throwing and what she needed from him.
He didn’t much care about anything, to be honest.
It was never pity.
Then what was it?
I love you. I always have. I probably always will.
I love who you were, and I want to get to know you properly now so I can tell you how much I love you as the person you’ve become.
