“We’re in perfect agreement, then. I can’t believe it either. In fact, I can’t believe you left me sleeping here and waltzed out there all by yourself with one measly shotgun against God knew how many bad guys.”
His arms had grown tighter around her with every word he spoke. He hadn’t raised his voice, but it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out he wasn’t too happy. She kept her tone mild. “I know it wasn’t the smartest move. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I figured I could track the person by their energy and take them out that way. Otherwise, we were just sitting targets, Alex. We had to do something.”
“And you couldn’t include me in your plan, why?”
“Be honest. Would you have let me go out there, even if you were with me?” He didn’t speak. “See? I had to do something. I couldn’t stand the thought that someone was playing with us like that.” She couldn’t stand the thought of him getting hurt.
“I thought it was because of what I told you. I thought you figured I was useless.”
Her heart caught at the naked shame in his voice. “Because of your PTSD? No! That wasn’t the reason at all.” She hesitated. “I admit, I did have some half-baked idea that I’d be able to better handle violence than you, but…” She wrinkled her nose. “Since you were the one who was willing to leave the guy to bleed out, and I had to go and get all girlie on you and help the villain, I guess that isn’t the case.”
“You do realize I worked narcotics in New York, don’t you?” he asked, his tone dry. “Drug dealers don’t settle their differences with a handshake and a cup of tea. I burned out because I lost someone I loved, not because I faint at the sight of blood.”
She grinned, sheepish. “Yeah. I didn’t really think of that. I think I went a little crazy when I saw your aura for the first time. That’s all I can claim. It’s so pure, and I figured since I was already…tarnished, I should be the one to do the deed.”
“I don’t understand this aura business very well, but I can tell you that I’m not a particularly pure or blameless person.” When he turned his head to face her, Genevieve recoiled from the stranger facing her. Alex’s expression was unemotional and flat. “I really don’t care if Leonie dies. The only reason I let you heal him was because you seemed to need it. I wanted him to die when he was out there terrorizing us. The fact that he watched us making love…” Alex’s jaw clenched. “I want him to burn in hell for that.”
A full body shiver ran though her. Frankly, she was a bit freaked out by this side of her sweet, happy-go-lucky lover. “Um, yes, well. I figured out fast I’m a pretty weak assassin. Next time, you totally get to play the hero.” Her lips twisted. “I…I figured I was so beyond redemption it didn’t even matter.”
“Why would you think that?”
She looked down at her hands. “You know how I said I couldn’t have a third death on my conscience?”
“Yeah, that was interesting. Tell me about that.”
Her mouth felt like the filter had been removed. She had no choice but to tell him, to make him understand. “Three years ago, I came home for a surprise visit. Two police cruisers were parked out front.”
Alex’s arms tensed around her, as if he could sense what was coming and wanted to stop it.
“I slipped around from out back. Your predecessor and two of his deputies were just leaving. They didn’t see me and I heard one of the deputies ask what would happen if the witch told she’d been raped. Bainsworth said no one would believe her anyway, and they were the law, so who cared. The other man was mad and said that he didn’t get a turn before she passed out. The chief clapped him on the back and said there was always next time.” She faltered and he exhaled.
“I was so angry. It wasn’t fair, and I didn’t know how long it had been going on, and Mom had never said anything. To think of them raping her, when she was such a sweet, gentle woman, it made me so furious I couldn’t think. And I knew they were right, that they were protected, that nothing would happen to them and I…” She took a deep breath. “When they saw me, the deputies got scared, but Bainsworth didn’t seem to care. He laughed and started walking toward me, and I just…”
“What?” he prompted her when she faltered.
She turned stricken eyes on him. “I killed him.”
Alex’s tone was soft and reasonable. “He died seven months ago.”
“Because of me. I wanted to give him the most lingering, dignity-sucking death I could imagine.” She closed her eyes. “Do you understand? I gave him that tumor.”
His hands stopped caressing her back. She waited for his skepticism, or worse, his disgust. She tried to fill the silence. “I can’t just see auras; I can manipulate them on some level. Usually if someone’s injured, I can tweak the colors to aid in healing. I had never done the opposite before in my life, but looking at his smug face, this little switch in my mind tripped and I knew I held his life in my hand. I’d never felt so powerful, so drunk with power. I could see his aura and I could see exactly what I needed to manipulate to make him sick.
“He staggered back and his deputies caught him. They all looked so scared of little old me. I loved it. I was so excited, I didn’t even see my mother until she started screaming. I don’t even remember what she said to them, but they beat tracks out of there. Mom came up to me, still screaming, and slapped me. She’d never hit me before in my life. She grabbed my hand, and that’s the last thing I remember until I woke up a few hours later.”
Genevieve shuddered. “It was dark inside the cabin. Mom sat in the rocking chair, and I was lying on the bed. I felt terrible, but I was more concerned with the way she looked. Her face was bruised and bloody. I tried to get her to go to the hospital, but she wouldn’t listen, she just kept saying it was all too late.”
“Too late for what?”
“The balance. There’s always a balance. If I heal someone, I get hurt, at least for a little while. What they feel, times three. But I didn’t feel sick, so it took me a bit to figure out what she’d done. After that night, it was like everything I had inside of me had been burned away. I spent my entire life wanting to be normal, but when my power was gone…I felt empty.
“Mom got sick, real fast. I don’t know how she did it, but she took the rebound away from me and made it her own. Maybe that’s why I lost my abilities. I couldn’t heal her, I couldn’t help her. All I could do was watch while she died a little every day for two years, while the tumor in her ovaries spread through her entire body. So because I couldn’t control my anger, I killed my mother.
“She wasn’t a normal woman. She was simple, she hated being around other people. I should have stayed. I owed her. She didn’t just home-school me because she felt like it. It took her years to teach me to control my powers. I repaid her by leaving her here at the mercy of whoever happened to come along.”
“That’s quite the hair shirt you’ve been wearing there. It was tragic, yes, but I’d say a lot of that blame goes on those three grown men, not a young woman. What were their names?” His tone was very mild.
“Who?”
