“They might even be expecting us at the lab.” Gallagher chopped into the first carrot, and even after nine months of living in close quarters with him, it still seemed strange to me to see the notoriously fiercefear deargwarrior—my sworn champion and defender—slaughter vegetables, rather than enemies. Though I was grateful that true enemies were in such short supply, at least within the relative security of our cabin. “The police could have transferred Miri and Lala to a lower-security facility specifically to draw us out.”
“I guess that’s possible,” I conceded. “But that would require virtually unprecedented cooperation between multiple branches of the US government and local authorities. Which I’m going to label as highly unlikely.”
“All the same...” Gallagher dumped his chopped carrots into the pot. “You should stay here, just in case.”
“That’s not your call.”
Gallagher grunted. “Delilah, be reasonable—”
Zyanya crossed the room and plucked the knife from Gallagher’s hand, then nudged him out of the way with her hip, though he was nearly twice the cheetah shifter’s size. “Why don’t you two take that discussion into the other room?” Her suggestion sounded more like an order.
I rolled my eyes and followed Gallagher to the bedroom, where he had to duck to keep his cap from hitting the top of the door frame and angle his broad form to the side to fit his shoulders through the opening. “Delilah, I swore on my life that I’d protect you but—”
“Then come with me to the lab.” I pushed the door closed behind him.
“—but it’s not just you anymore. It’s the baby.Ourbaby. You can’t make decisions for her unilaterally.”
“Okay, I know you’re not aware of the whole ‘my body, my decision’ movement so let me just explain this by saying that until you can hold the baby, I have sole custody. And that should make it easier for you to protect us both, because we’ll always be in the same place. But beyond that, please tell me you understand that I’m not trying to put the baby in danger. The safest place for us to be is with you.”
Gallagher frowned, and for a second, I thought I’d won. Until he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the closed door. “Then I won’t go, either.”
“They’re going to need your help getting Miri and Lala back. And for all we know, thefuriaeand I might be able to help, too. We’re going, Gallagher.”
“So I get no say in what happens to my child?”
“Don’t...” I exhaled heavily and sank onto the end of the bed. “Don’t do that. We both know life isn’t fair. I didn’t get any say in this.” I ran one hand over my stomach, and regretted the words just a second too late to take them back.
“You’re punishing me.” He nodded, a gracious acceptance of a weapon I hadn’t meant to wield. “I deserve that. But the baby doesn’t.”
“You don’t deserve that, and I’m not punishing you.God, this is hard.” I scrubbed both hands over my face and fought for composure, knowing that if I cried, I would win the argument not because I’d made my point, but because he felt guilty. “Ihatewhat happened that night.” I hated the humiliation and helplessness I still felt every time I thought about it. How out of control I still was of my own body. Yet most of all, I hated the wall it had built between us. “But I love this baby. And I love you.”
Gallagher’s scowl was a study in internal conflict, hope and fear battling behind his stormy gaze. “Delilah, ours cannot be an amorous—”
“Relax. I also love Rommily and Zy and the others.” So what if that wasn’texactlywhat I’d meant. “We’re all family.”
“No.” He shook his head firmly. “What’s between us is not like what’s between all the others. This isn’t simple loyalty and affection. This ismuchstronger. I willneverchoose anyone else over you.”
My heart became one fragile ache and felt suddenly vulnerable to too hard a beat or too sharp a word. “I know—”
“Youdon’tknow,” Gallagher growled, his form tense, as if maintaining the distance between us took physical effort. “They’re my family, too. I love them all. But I would let any one of them die a slow and painful death if that’s what it took to keep you safe. And I feel no guilt about that prospect. None.”
“I don’t believe—” I bit off my own words.Fear deargcouldn’t lie. Yet the conflict written in every line of his tormented expression told me there was something he wasn’t saying. “Then why...?”
His gaze dropped to my stomach, and suddenly I understood.
“The baby.Swearyou would save the baby over me, Gallagher.”
“You know I can’t tell you that. I’m not saying I wouldn’t. I’m saying I can’tswearto it. This hasn’t... The champion/benefactor relationship isn’t romantic or physical in nature, so there’s never been this kind of conflict before. I honestly don’t know how this should work. Or how it should affect my oath.”
“Okay, I get that redcaps aren’t supposed to have kids with their benefactors. But they dohave kids, right?” I laid one hand on the upper curve of my stomach. “If you’d already had a child before you pledged yourself to me, what would that ranking look like, in your head? If you had to choose between us?”
Gallagher crossed the room and sank into the chair in the corner, but his posture remained tense. Almost formal. “Under normal circumstances, I would choose you over anyone else in the world. Including my own children. That’s how this works. But if I’d had children before we met, I wouldn’t have sworn myself to you until they were old enough to fend for themselves.”
“Okay...” I ran one hand through my hair, thinking that over. “In related news, I may have discovered what’s behind the drastic decline in thefear deargpopulation...”
He actually gave me a little smile. Albeit a bitter one. “Civil war, Delilah. That’s what decimated our population. But that was decades ago. For centuries before that, our traditions worked just fine. When we were ready to contribute to the population, we chose partners who were healthy and like-minded, raised our children, then devoted our lives to service.”
“Healthy and like-minded, huh?” I couldn’t resist a sardonic smile. “That issohot.”
