“Hey.” I reached up and took his chin, claiming his gaze. “No more of that. I’m serious. We’re moving forward. With what’s happening out there, we need to trust each other. I trust you with my life, Gallagher. I trust you withherlife.”
He nodded. Then, in a moment that seemed somehow removed from the real world, Gallagher leaned in and pressed a kiss against the corner of my mouth.
When he pulled away, he looked just as surprised by what had happened as I was. “I know I should apologize for that,” he whispered as he stood and backed carefully away from the bed. “But I cannot truthfully tell you I am sorry. There have been few sincerely joyful moments in my life, Delilah. The only excuse I can offer for my behavior is that this is one of those moments. And I did not know how else to show you. But despite how I feel, it won’t—” He stopped, obviously reconsidering his phrasing while my heart tried to beat its way through my chest and onto the floor at his feet. “I won’t do that again without your permission.”
Then he left the room, and I fell back onto my pillow, confused and overwhelmed by what had just happened. By what Gallagher had said, as much as by what he had done.
Without your permission.
So, with my blessing, he would kiss me again?
I could still feel the ghost of Gallagher’s mouth against mine. I could still see the conflict haunting his expression as he’d tried to balance his obligation to me with...
With what?
I sat upright, my pulse pounding a desperate, staccato rhythm in my ears, and laid Alina in her makeshift bassinet, her little red hat bright against the blanket beneath her. The hat Gallagher had made for her from the flesh of the man he’d torn apart to avenge me, though he’d been just as wronged by Malloy as I had.
Gallagher had sacrificed his own honor to spare me further violation and humiliation. He’d literally put his body between me and danger a hundred times. He’d dedicated his entire life to keeping me safe, though he got nothing in return, and now...
“Gallagher!” My voice broke on his name as I stood from the bed, my hands open and useless at my sides.
Footsteps stormed across the outer room toward me, then the door flew open. Gallagher stepped inside, his fists clenched and ready, scanning the room for whatever threat had made me shout for him. But he found nothing.
“Delilah?” His posture remained tense as he studied my face. “What’s...?”
“Close the door.”
He obeyed without questioning the request, but stayed across the room. “What’s wrong?”
“You said, ‘Despite how I feel.’ What did that mean? How do you feel?”
“I...” He frowned, and I could see that conflict raging inside him again, but no explanation followed.
“Gallagher. Talk to me.”
“I shouldn’t have said that. I had no right. I shouldn’t have...” His gaze dropped to my mouth, and again, I could feel an echo of his touch there. “My oath to you precludes...”
“Precludes what? Life? Living for something other than violence and duty?” I put one hand on the edge of Alina’s bed. “I think we’re well past that, Gallagher. Our daughter is neither violence nor duty, but she’s a part of your life, and that’s as it should be. That’s normal. Don’t you want—?”
“This isn’t about what I want,” he growled, and the gravelly depth of his voice seemed to echo with equal parts pain and anger. Frustration.
“Well, then, what about whatIwant?”
He considered that for a moment. “What do you want?”
“I want you to tell me the truth.”
“I’veneverlied to you.”
“Semantics. I want thewholetruth. Am I nothing more to you than an obligation? A debt you owe the world? Am I just some way for you to pay the universe back for the air you breathe and the blood you soak up? Am I—?”
“You are everything.”
“I... What?” I blinked, and suddenly he was a foot in front of me, towering over me, staring down at me with such intensity that the air between us seemed too thick to breathe.
“You want the whole truth?” he growled. “That’s it. You are my entire world. My most celebrated triumph and my deepest regret. You are every thought that I have and every breath that I draw. I wanted you from the moment I first saw you at the menagerie, and it took every bit of restraint I possessed to keep from ripping the head right off your worthless boyfriend and feeding him to the adlet. The only reason I haven’t kissed you before is thatthat’s not who we are. That’s not who you needed me to be. The world gave you a calling and me a duty, and you needed—”
“You don’t get to decide what I need.”
