But as much of a relief as that understanding was, the knowledge that I’d probably spend my entire life alone kept me from truly celebrating the feminist victory Faythe believed she’d passed down tome.
“I don’t understand, Kaci.” Justus stood as I buttoned my pants. “I’m sorry, but I don’t know what I did wrong. I mean, other than the charges I’mfacing.”
“Well then, let me see if I can explain this in asshole-friendly terms.” I glanced around the room in search of my socks, until I realized I hadn’t worn any. My shoes were slip-ons. “Yes, as the world’s only unwanted tabby, I am lonely and pathetic in a way that no one else on earth, as far as I can tell, will ever truly understand. But I was used to that. I wasdealingwith my emotional shit through a regimen of sexually unsatisfying human hookups that—at least so far—hadn’t gotten anyone hurt. Thenyoucame along, and you were exciting, and funny, andso, so pretty,and—”
“Why do your compliments feel like bullets, Kaci?” Justus lookedhurt.
“—and you were interested in me. You kissed me like you wanted me, when we both know you could have any girl in the whole damn world. And I thought you meant it. I thought we were the same, except for the fucking trust fund. Then I wake up this morning and find out that we’re married, even though I don’t remember saying ‘Ido.’”
“I might have a video.” He reached into his pocket for his cell phone, but came up empty. “The wedding package came with one, but I don’t know if they’ve sent it yet. I can checkmy—”
“That is not the point!” Though my memory loss was at least point-adjacent. “What I’m saying is that I was falling for you. I was going to run away with you. Then you got me drunk and married me just to get your hands on your fucking money five yearsearly.”
“Four yearsand—”
“Do not say four years and ten months,” I snapped at him. “Do not say four years and tenmonths!”
“Kaci.” He reached for me, but I pushed him back again, and I hated myself for noticing how hard his abs felt. How gray his eyes were. How sad his beautiful mouthlooked.
“Don’t touchme.”
“Okay. Look, I’m not touching you.” He backed away from me, his hands in the air as if I had a gun on him. “Just listen. I didn’t marry you for the money.” He frowned and shook his head. “I mean…we did get married for the money, butwedid ittogether. Sowecould both get out of here. We’re going to the island, remember? I didn’t get you drunk so you’d marry me. I didn’t even know youweredrunk until you got onto the coffee table and started imitating the thunderbirds who took youhostage.”
“I didnot—” But then the memory slammed into me like a slap to the face. I’d stood on the table with my arms bent like wings, flapping them and squawking, after I’d told him how terrifying it was to be ripped from the ground by a giant bird, then flown over the earth with my feet dangling over thetreetops.
“Well, whether you knew it or not, I was drunk. And now I’m married.” I scowled at my shoes as I stepped into them. “How the hell can I be old enough to get married, but not old enough to gamble? If they’d let me into the casino last night,noneof this would havehappened.”
“Kaci, I’msosorry that you can’t remember. But it’ll come back. I’ve been that drunk a couple of times, and the memories came back after awhile.”
“I don’t want to remember making a fool of myself, Justus.” I grabbed my backpack and stomped into the bathroom, where I grabbed my toothbrush and dropped it into mybag.
“That’s not… You were never a fool.” He followed me into the bathroom. “You were funny, and adorable, and sexy enough to make mereallywish you weren’tdrunk.”
“Don’t think about me being sexy.” I glared at him in the mirror. “I don’t even know what I mean by that, but…don’t think about me like that. This isn’t real. We’re notmarried.”
“Yes, we are. Will you please stop packing for a minute? We need to figure out whatwe’re—”
“No!” I pushed past him into the bedroom. “Justus,thisis notreal. We didn’t even…” My focus landed on the bed and stayed there. “We didn’t even have sex. Wait a minute.” I dropped my backpack on the floor and ducked to check under the bed. “There was this movie I saw where a guy had his marriage annulled because…” There was nothing under the bed. The bed was built over a box, which must have made vacuuming the hotel room mucheasier.
“I saw that. He got an annulment on the grounds that his marriage was never consummated. But Kaci, I don’t think that’s a real… What are youdoing?”
“Looking for my cell.” I grabbed the edge of the comforter and ripped it from the bed in one motion. Then I shook it, snapping it like a kitchen towel. But no phone fellout.
“You had it last night. You decided you wanted to take a one-way cruise, instead of a flight, because you’ve never been on aboat.”
“Don’t—” I exhaled slowly, trying to stop the flood of embarrassment that washed over me with every new detail about Drunken Kaci’s humiliating late night performance. “Just stop telling me what I did, okay?” I already knew I was dumb enough to fall for a rich, beautiful con artist. I didn’t need therecap.
“Fine. But I don’t think non-consummation is actually grounds for an annulment. I think that’s…fiction.”
“It’s not.” Itcan’tbe. “Where the hell is myphone?”
Justus picked up one of the pillows and shook it out while I pulled the top sheet from the bed. Nothing. Then he picked up a second pillow, and my phone fell out of thecase.
Oh yeah. After I’d given up finding a cruise to the Lost City of Atlantis, I’d tucked my phone beneath my pillow so I wouldn’t loseit.
Damnit.
“Here.” He tossed me my phone, and I caught it one-handed.
