“Holy shit.” Justus’s smile faded into a look of concern that quickened my heartbeat. “I thought I had it rough, because I didn’t know I was infected. I had no idea I was going to shift—or even that that was possible—until it happened. But I was twenty. I can’t imagine going through that at thirteen. Your family must have been reallyfreaked—”
The obvious conclusion seemed to hit him all atonce.
“What happened tothem?
“My mother and sister found me behind the house. I’d just shifted for the first time, and I wasout of my mindwith terror. Obviously, they didn’t know it was me. All they knew was that my clothes were on the ground, ripped to shreds, and there was a big black cat in ouryard.
“They started shouting and swinging things at me, trying to protect themselves, and I…did the same thing. I…” I turned up the cup and drained it, relishing the burn in my throat like penance for a sin I couldneverbe forgiven for. “I’m sorry. I’ve never actually toldanyone.”
“Faythe and Marc don’tknow?”
“They know.Everyoneknows. But they found out on the internet. They looked me up once they got me to tell them my name, and the story was…there. My dad was still looking for me at the time. He was convinced for a long time that I’d somehow survived the ‘wild cat’ attack that killed my mother and sister, because they didn’t find my blood at the scene. But eventually he stopped looking. And I let him.” I shrugged. “That was the best thing I could do for him.” I’d let my father mourn me and move on. “I look him up online every now and then. He remarried a few years later. He has two more kids now. Bothboys.”
“Holy shit,” Justus breathed. “I feel like I should order you anotherdrink.”
“For all the good it would do,” I said, repeating his words, and hesmiled.
“So, did you eat…your…”
“My family? No. When I realized what I’d done, I was terrified. Traumatized. I ran from my backyard into the woods before my father came home, and I eventually made my way south of the border. FromCanada.”
“You’reCanadian?”
“Yes. From British Colombia. But ‘Karli Sanders’ is American.” I poured the rest of the soda into my empty glass. “Anyway, I didn’t know how to shift back into human form, or even if I could, so I just kind of lived in the woods. For, like, two and a half months. I wandered into Montana without knowing it, and Faythe and her family found me. They were there for Faythe’s trial, the same place they’re holding yours. It’s the northern free zone, which is considered neutral territory. That’s why they hold murder trials there.” Another shrug. “Not that there are many ofthose.”
“Do you remember her trial?” A flicker of fear flashed across Justus’s face—the first I’d seen from him, even though he seemed sure the court would find himguilty.
“I wasn’t actually there in the room with the tribunal, and I was still pretty…traumatized. I really only remember images from that first week or so, after being stuck in cat form for months. Faces. A very confused jumble of emotions. The taste of my first meal that wasn’t raw meat since the day I’d turned into acat.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah. Faythe was the first person I let near me.” I leaned closer to him over the padded armrest, to keep the people in front of and behind us from overhearing averystrange whispered conversation. “I’d been in cat form so long that I was basically feral, even in on two feet, and she thought I might respond better to the scent of another girl. She had to sneak in to see me. She says I just kept hissing at her, at first.” I shrugged and sipped from my soda. “But she stuck with it. She stuck withme. And she got results, so it was hard for the Alphas to say much about her breaking their rules. Though I suspect they were still prettymad.”
Justus shook his head, eyes wide. “It’s hard for me to imagine Faythe not being incharge.”
“I know. Her dad died a few months after I came to live with them, and she’s been the boss ever since. I hardly remember back when she was just an enforcer, but I’ve heard lots of stories. She brokeallthe rules. She was a total thorn in the council’s side. She still is, kindof.”
“She and Marc are the only reason I’m getting a trial,” Justus said. “Strays aren’t considered citizens, and if they hadn’t taken me in, the council could have done whatever they wanted withme.”
“You feel guilty now, don’t you?” I could see it in hiseyes.
He nodded slowly. “The last thing I wanted to do was piss them off. Or seem ungrateful. I just… I don’t know a lot about the council. I don’t really know anything about natural-born cat society, except what I’ve learned from Vic and the guys, but what I do understand is that the council has a very long history of siding against strays. And it’s hard for me to imagine them doing anything else in my case.” Justus leaned closer to whisper to me, his cup held in front of his mouth, as if to foil any attempt to read his lips. “I mean, it’s not like I’m innocent. I actually infected those people. I actually killed Drew Borden. And the thing is that I don’t really regret it. He deserved what he got. He deservedworse, for what he did, and if I could do it again, the only thing I would change is how mercifully quick hedied.”
“You don’t have totellthe tribunalthat.”
“I’m not going to lie about it, and even if I did, they wouldn’t believe me. Not that any of that matters.” Justus glanced at his cup as if he suddenly regretted giving me his whiskey. “They’ve already decided,Kaci.”
“What does that mean?” But I was pretty sure I got the gist of it, even without thedetails.
“I overheard Vic talking. The tribunal members already know how they’re going to vote, without hearing a word I have to say in my own defense. There’sno wayI’m going to leave that trialalive.”
There was something in his voice. Something in the determined set of his jaw, and the way his focus seemed to be not on the seat in front of him, but on something I couldn’t see. Something in his past, or in hisfu—
And that’s when the truth hit me like a knife straight to the chest. “You son of a bitch. You’re not going back, are you? You’rerunning.”
And I had helped himescape.
Four
