But it doesn’t seem fair to tell them that I’ve already chosen the lives of hundreds of strangers over theirs. Over all of ours.
“Holden doesn’t consider anyone else’s well-being his responsibility, and right now Penelope would follow him offa high dive into a pool full of venomous snakes if he so much as smiled at her.”
Indiana gives me a crooked smile. “So all we have to do is convince everyone that we’re actually on a hunger strike.”
“And that it was Holden’s idea,” I add with a laugh.
10.5 HOURS EARLIER
MADDIE
“One rifle and five shells won’t be much of a threat to a drug cartel, but in case you have to pick this up, you need to know how to use it. They’ll know right away if you don’t.”
I study the rifle as Luke ejects the chambered round. “Don’t I just take aim and pull the trigger?”
“Kind of.” He bends to pick up the ejected bullet. “This is like the one I learned on, except it has an automatic and a semiautomatic mode. I’ve switched it to single fire, because—again—we only have five bullets.”
I take the rifle from him, and it’s heavier than I expected. I thought it would make me feel strong, but it makes me feel small and awkward. “How do I hold it?”
“Like this.” Luke positions the back of the stock against my shoulder, then guides my left hand to cup the grip around the back of the rifle’s long barrel. “This is called the handgrip.”
When he moves into place behind me, his chest brushes my back, and I want to lean into him. To just ... close thespace between us and let that gesture say the things I don’t know how to tell him. Because I can’t trust my mouth not to mess this up again.
“It’s unloaded, but you should get in the habit of keeping your finger off the trigger unless you’re ready to fire,” he says, and I can feel his breath on my neck. “Now aim at that tree.”
“That one?” I let go of the handgrip to point, and Luke guides my hand back into place. He’s confident with the rifle. His hands are steady.
“Yes. Keep both hands on the gun.” He lifts it a little higher against my shoulder, and he’s pressed so closely against me now that I can feel every breath he takes. “Now line up the rear sight and the front sight and make sure they’re right over what you want to shoot.”
“What do I want to shoot?”
“See that knothole?” His breath brushes my ear, and I nod, afraid that if I speak, everything I’m thinking will fall out. I need this lesson. This gun and those five shells are the only chance I’ll get to avenge Ryan. But the closer I get to Luke, the less I want to drag him into this.
Luke readjusts my grip on the rifle, and his hip presses against mine. He lifts the barrel a little higher, and a cord of muscle stands out from his arm. I blink and force my focus back to the tree.
“Line the sights up and squeeze the trigger. Gently.”
I squeeze. The trigger clicks. Luke pushes the rifle up by the barrel and shoves the stock into my shoulder.
“Hey!” Startled, I drop the gun.
Luke catches it with one hand.
“What was that for?” All thoughts of kissing him are gone.
“I was simulating kickback,” Luke says. “For an authentic experience. The first time you fire a rifle, it might knock you back a couple of steps, if your stance isn’t right. You have to be prepared. Which doesnotinclude dropping the gun.”
“Well, you could have warned me!”
“Sorry.” He tries to hide a grin.
“What’s so funny?”
“You just looked so surprised.”
It’s hard to be anything but tired and terrified, knowing that the Moreno cartel is involved in my cousin’s kidnapping and my brother’s murder, but Luke’s smile is contagious. And he’s finally stopped putting distance between us.
“Are you ready?” he asks, still grinning.
