Finn revved his engine, and Devi closed the cargo truck door. Then Maddock turned the truck around and we followed him into the badlands, his taillights ahead of us, the blazing hulk of Pandemonia still flickering through the rear windshield.
“Well?” Finn said, and I looked up from the potato patties grilling over the morning campfire to find Anabelle standing in the entrance to Damaris’s tent, wiping her bloody hands on a scrap of cloth. “How’s Grayson?”
“Damaris thinks she’s going to make it.” But the tension in Anabelle’s frame told me how close it had been. Grayson had lost a lot of blood, and the Lord’s Army had neither a sterile environment nor a trained surgeon.
Fortunately, we’d collected a good supply of antibiotics and painkillers during our cargo raids over the past five months, and even after sharing with our hosts, there would be enough to help Grayson.
Reese hadn’t left her side for a single second of the twelve hours since we’d caught up with the Lord’s Army on the outskirts of Salina. Neither had Damaris or Eli. But Eli, I’d noticed, kept stealing starry-eyed glances at Ana as she assisted his mother. Evidently they’d bonded during and after their road trip in the badlands, and in retrospect, their mutual attraction wasn’t surprising.
Both had dedicated their lives to faith. Both were interested in caregiving in general and childbirth in particular. Both had more courage than any other human I’d ever met. Finn and I were happy for them.
Reese wasthrilledfor them. And for himself.
“Want me to give you a breather so you two can have a few minutes alone?” Anabelle sat on the grass mat next to me and ran the back of one knuckle down Adam’s cheek. He stirred in my arms, but his eyes never opened. He’d turned out to be a very content baby, as long as he was well fed. But we’d already used half our store of formula in the few days he’d been alive, and when that ran out…
But that was a problem for another day.
“That’s okay.” Finn rubbed his hand up and down my back. “We like having him, and you must be tired.”
“Not gonna lie—I could sleep.” Ana pushed her hair back from her forehead, and even in the flickering light of the fire, I could see exhaustion drawn all over her face. “But tomorrow I want to hear about what happened out there. Every bit of it.”
“There’s a lot to tell.” I stared down at Adam’s tiny little lips, pursed in his sleep as if he were sucking on his bottle. Finn’s hand slid into my grip on the mat between us, and his thumb brushed my knuckles. The only thing missing from that near-perfect moment was Melanie, but it was her sacrifice that had made the whole thing possible. I smiled at Anabelle and squeezed Finn’s hand. “But the short version is that the world has changed for good.”
And for the first time in centuries, humanity might come out on top.
Crickets chirruped as I ran across the street into the shadows, already regretting my decision. But it was too late to change my mind.
“Are you sure about this?” Finn asked as I slid into the passenger’s seat and closed the car door as softly as I could.
“Hell no.” I peered out the car window at the featureless brick building, its windows dark except for a few on the top floor and one at the southwest corner. That one was Sister Tabitha’s office.
The light over the front porch flickered, and I caught my breath, hoping it wouldn’t go out. I stared at the box on the stoop and my stomach began to twist again.
I felt like I might throw up.
But we were doing the right thing. I’d been over and over it and kept coming to the same conclusion.
“The Church is hunting us. They’ll be hunting us for the rest of our lives. They know Eli helped us, so the Lord’s Army is a target. We have enough of a handicap with Grayson still healing. If Adam got caught in the crossfire, I’d never forgive myself.” Neither would any of the others. We’d only had him for a couple of weeks, but no baby in the history of mankind had ever been more loved.
“We can’t keep him safe, Finn, even if we had something to feed him.” We were nearly out of formula, and there wasn’t a wet nurse to be found among Eli’s friends and family. “Buttheycan.” I stared up at the building again. “And they will. They won’t let a child die. Souls are too precious.”
“Unless they figure out who he is….”
“They won’t,” I insisted. “They don’t even know he exists. If they know Pandemonia fell, they’ll assume Melanie fell with it.”
This was the best place for Adam, at least for now. We were doing the right thing. Even if the right thing felt like a thousand white-hot swords being run through my body all at once.
I’d just put Adam down, yet my arms already ached to be holding him.
Finally the door opened, and I caught my breath. I didn’t recognize the sister who stepped out onto the porch, and from across the street I couldn’t tell whether her robes were embroidered. But for once that didn’t matter. Adam would be safe with her for the next few months.
And we would come back for him before things got dangerous. Before they had a chance to put it all together.
“It’s kind of fitting,” Finn said. “Letting it all end here, where it began.”
“Do you think Melanie would hate us for this?”
“I think she’d love you for doing what’s best for him even when that’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do.”
