I should be worried I won’t be able to figure this out in time—that I’ll mess things up and ruin my chances of saving Clara—but despite the vagaries, I feel strangely calm. If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s paying attention.
Instead, as I sling the messenger bag over my shoulder, I can’t help but think of James, who was willing to sacrifice his life to save my sister. Foolish enough to give me a chance to prove him wrong. Naive enough to concern himself with my hunger. I’m relieved to think that I’ll probably never see him again. But I wonder whether the rebels have any idea how easily they’ve been infiltrated.
This fantasy world they’ve built won’t last much longer.
James
Chapter 23
“I think it’s a great idea,” says Juliette, smiling at Warner the way she always does. Like he can do no wrong.
“I think it’s a stupid idea,” I argue. “It’s messy and dangerous—”
“You’ve lost the right to vote,” Warner cuts me off. “We’re in this situation because of you. The girl has clear vulnerabilities, and we should be utilizing every advantage we have over her. While we’re in the discovery phase this is possibly our best course of action for gathering intel—”
“I’m not doing it,” I say angrily.
“Why not?” he shoots back.
“Because,” I say, pushing my hands through my hair. “Because it’s weird. It feels weird.”
Kenji laughs. He’s eating popcorn. “Bro,” he says, shooting me a look. He makes air quotes with one hand. “It’s weirdis not the counterargument you think it is. We’ve all had to do uncomfortable shit over the years in order to survive. Take Jello over here,” he says, throwing a piece of popcorn at Juliette’s face.
She swats it away.
“You want to talk about weird? This girl was once mind-controlled by your own dad.She was forced to become his super-soldier—”
“Oh God, don’t remind me,” I groan. “I hate this story.”
“—and she nearly killed all of us just because Daddy Anderson asked her to.”
“Jesus.” I drag my hands down my face. “Don’t call him Daddy.”
My brother, I notice, has gone sheet white.
Nothing sends Warner spiraling faster than a reminder of how much Juliette suffered at the hands of our father. As if he’s somehow complicit in the sins of the man who tortured him every day of his life. Maybe because I was a kid when it all happened, I can make this distinction.
Warner can’t.
Kenji goes on, undeterred. “And if Warner hadn’t been able to save J through the power of love”—he mimes a firework with one hand—“we’d all be mind-controlled puppets of The Reestablishment right now.”
“Let’s not relive all the details,” Juliette says, squeezing Kenji’s arm. She’s looking worryingly at Warner, who’s now staring into the abyss of middle distance.
“That was a long time ago,” she says gently, “and, actually, it was lucky that I underwent—and survived—the experiment, because otherwise we wouldn’t have known the extent of the program. We had no idea they’d already begun connecting civilians to a neural network, and we didn’t realize that destroying Operation Synthesis would sever the nervous system of the program.” She glances again at my brother.“Warner thinks they’ve rolled out a new version of the network on the Ark. His theory is that they never abandoned the project.”
Then, beaming at me, she adds brightly: “That’s why he’s so excited about the chip you brought home. He’s really proud of you, James. It’s a big deal, what you did, despite the way it made us feel. He talks about it all the time.”
This last bit is a stroke of genius, and achieves what I realize is her desired effect: Warner is instantly snapped out of his gloom.
“I wouldn’t use the wordexcited,” he says, shooting me a warning look. “Orproud. Orbig deal. Orall the time.”
Still, I feel a little like I’ve been shot with sunshine.
“Wow,” I say to him, fighting a smile. “Look at you.
You can’t even help it. You love me so much it disgusts you. You’re disgusted with yourself.”
Juliette laughs.
