She was feeling hopeful. Finally, after so long, she had a firm plan. Her smile dimmed, however, at the prospect of speaking with Cyrus.
Her complicated feelings for him felt like a horrible failure of her good sense. All she had to do wasimaginehim touching her to stir up a tempest in her heart. When she recalled the sight of him – his powerful, gleaming body, the ferocious need in his eyes – not only did she struggle for breath, but she was possessed by a mortifying impulse to make an indelicate sound, and had to bite her lip to keep the tortured whimper trapped in her throat. It ached beyond reason to remember the pull between their bodies, the fever of him so close; his desperate confession and the resulting devastation. She had no idea what would happen when she saw him. He’d once told her that if she married him in name only, she’d make him the most wretched man alive. If that was true,then she was about to destroy him.
She breathed, trying to keep her exhale steady.
As the sky slowly darkened, fireflies lit the world, dotting everything like glittering jewels. The sight had been particularly astonishing as they’d left the temple, where tens of thousands of the glowing insects had winked throughout the crowd like a map of the stars.
“It’s so beautiful here,” she whispered, forcing herself to draw away from the window. She pulled the curtain closed, deciding to break the silence herself. “It even smells lovely.”
Kamran only stared at her from where he sat, on the opposite bench inside the carriage. She’d felt his eyes on her these last many minutes, the energy between them strange and fraught; despite his insistence that they have a moment alone together, he’d said nothing at all. Even then, as she studied him, he did not speak; it was as if he hadn’t even heard her. Still, he made no effort to hide his overt interest. He also seemed unaware that he was tapping his gloves against his thigh, and the buzz of tension in his body put her on alert.
It had been a small production delivering her into the simple, unmarked coach, but the conveyance was meant to be reinforced with layers of defensive magic, including an enchantment that repelled glances from passersby. Both Kamran and Hazan had assured her they’d been traveling back and forth this way for weeks, with palace guards in plain clothes riding alongside at all times. But perhaps the situation was more precarious than she realized.
“What is it?” she said, sitting back in her seat. “Is something wrong?”
“Yes,” he said quickly, then hesitated. “I mean, no – nothing is wrong. I don’t know why I said that.”
She stared at him a beat. “Are you all right?”
“Forgive me,” he said, and sighed. He finally set down the gloves and stared blankly at a curtained window. “I’ve never done this before, and I’m afraid I’m going to botch it.”
“Botch what?”
He took a shallow breath and said, “I want to marry you.”
The words came out in a nervous rush that was so unlike the assured, polished prince she’d known that Alizeh’s astonishment was doubled. In fact she was so stunned that she said nothing at all for several long, excruciating seconds before she realized she should absolutely say something, and quickly.
“Are you” – she blinked – “are you joking?”
He recoiled. “Absolutely not.”
“Forgive me,” she said. “I’m just – I’m afraid I don’t understand.”
He parted his lips to speak, then frowned. “Can you really not understand?” he said. “I wish to marry you. I want to marry you.”
“But – why?”
He froze, his frown deepening. He turned this frown upon the curtained window again as he said, quietly, “I didn’t think I’d need to provide a reason, if I’m being honest.”
She touched a hand to her throat, feeling slightly ill. She could hear a peddler hawking his wares on the street. “Can you try to think of a reason?”
“You’re – Well, you’re everything I’ve ever looked for in a queen,”he said, relaxing a little as the words came to him. “You’re beautiful and intelligent and poised and elegant –”
“Do you love me?”
He lifted his head, then faltered as he said, “I – I admire you deeply – and I’m certain that, in time, we would come to love each other. The truth is, I’ve thought of you almost constantly since we first met. I’ve never felt for anyone what I’ve felt for you, and I’d be honored to spend my life by your side.” He paused, his gaze briefly dropping to her lips. “We’ve already proven we’re well-suited in many ways. I believe it would be an excellent match.”
“I see,” she said, the chill in her bones overwhelmed by the tide of heat moving through her body. “Thank you.”
He hesitated. “Thank you?”
“For the explanation,” she said, distracted. “It helps.”
“Ah.” There was another taut silence before he said, “Might you have an answer for me?”
She clasped and unclasped her hands, a feeling of misplaced guilt twisting her heart. “Yes, I’m –”
The carriage jolted.
