“How long have you been doing this?”
“What? Doing what?”
“This, Shadi,this. Hooking up with my brother.”
“Hooking up with...” I blinked, my head was spinning. “I’m not...”
“Was that what you were doing last night? Were you out with my brother?”
I was shaking my head, certain this was some kind ofnightmare. “I was doing my physics homework.”
“God, you’re unbelievable,” she said. “Fucking unbelievable.”
A few heads turned for the second time, passersby always surprised to hear a girl in hijab swearing loudly in the hall.
I lowered my voice a few octaves in an effort to compensate. “There is literally nothing going on between me and Ali. I swear to God. I swear on my life.”
Zahra was still livid, her jaw tensed as she stared at me. But she’d at least stopped yelling, which gave me hope.
“I swear,” I said, trying again. “I had no idea the hoodie was his. It was a crazy morning, and I was rushing around so much I forgot to grab my jacket, and my mom found his sweatshirt in her car. Ali must’ve forgotten it at some point. We all thought it was Mehdi’s.”
Zahra looked at me for a long time, and though I was the one holding my breath, she was the one who finally exhaled.
Slowly—very slowly—the tension left her body.
When her anger broke, she looked suddenly close to tears. “You’re really not hooking up with my brother?”
“Zahra, come on. Can you even imagine? Listen to yourself.”
“I know.I know.” She sniffed, wiped her eyes. “Ugh, I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m sorry. He’d never even be interested in someone like you.”
“Exactly.” What?
“I mean, no offense or anything.” She shot me a look. “Butyou’re definitely not his type.”
I tried to smile. “I’m no one’s type. Most people take one look at me and run screaming in the opposite direction.”
She laughed.
I was only half kidding.
Suddenly, Zahra dropped her face in her hands. “I’m sorry. I’m just—” She sighed. Shook her head. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey,” I said, squeezing her shoulder. “Can we just forget this whole thing? Please? Let’s get some lunch.”
She took a deep breath. Let it go.
We left.
I only realized later that she’d never answered my question.
December
2003
Six
I couldn’t believe it.
