“I know. And Rosie…”
“Yeah. She was so invested. I was, too, in the end. I thought it was you, for what it’s worth. I was genuinely looking forward to having you as a brother-in-law, mate.”
I could only apologize, but Marly waved me off.
“I’ve simmered down now, I know you couldn’t have had any idea that whole situation was going on. And Galoshes is right—you and Aspen have transformed the shop and we’re making more money than we ever have before. It’s not like weactuallytried to hire someone good for that job. We literally chose them based on their name, didn’t we? But you’ve both been great. Let’s just call it a happy accident. Even this…” She spread her hands to take in the absolute carnage in the sheep barn. “You’ve brought new energy to the farm—to the island, actually.”
I told her how incredibly grateful I was that she hadn’t kicked us both out.
“Oh, you are fired,” she said. “Was that not obvious?”
“Oh. Right. Well, fair enough.”
“I’ll leave it to the real farm shop manager to decide if she wants to hire you back sometime,” Marly said to me with a wink. (So…maybe when you get back from eloping, you could give me a job? Please?)
I figured Aspen and I would finally be able to talk when the event got going, but I should have watched some YouTube videos, because it turns out country dancing is not conducive to conversation.
Galoshes really took to the role of caller.
“Get into groups of six!” she yelled at the crowd, half tourists, half locals. Someone had managed to persuade her to wear an autumn-themed crown, and she had to blow orange plastic maple leaves out of her eyes every few breaths. “Then split intotwo! No, split into two! Two threes! Split into threes! Come on, keep up, split the six into two threes! That’s it! Now! Join hands! In a six! Now…music!”
Jerry and the Milkmen dutifully began. The tempo was a lot faster than I expected. Aspen was in my group (thanks to some machinations by Marly, I couldn’t help thinking) but had ended up holding hands with Red and Toby, while I’d landed Kim and Karyn.
Within half an hour we were all significantly more advanced. I was whirling Kim around on my arm and then doing three jumps on one leg and then…I forget now, but it was pretty technical. I was out of breath, sweaty, and the longest I’d managed to spend with Aspen was about two seconds of hand-holding and an uncomfortable instance of stepping on her toe.
“Pairs for this next one!” yelled Galoshes, her autumn crown now lopsidedly dangling over one ear.
Aspen and I locked eyes. Her chest was heaving and she had flushed cheeks. I thought instantly of that night on the sofa at the stables, and it was as if the chaos of the barn dance faded to gray around her.
“Please,” she said, approaching me, “save me from another dance with someone who wants to interrogate me about my immoral decision-making.”
“You don’t know what I want to talk to you about yet,” I said, then saw the way her eyes flickered fearfully at that, and immediately took her hand. “Aspen, it’s OK. I get it. I did exactly the same thing.”
Aspen’s plaits were unraveling, and her pupils were dilated; there was a kind of wildness about her tonight. I didn’t know if it was the dancing or the honesty, but I liked it. She looked like herself.
“No, you took an opportunity that was gifted to you by a friend,” Aspen said, as Galoshes commanded us all to join hands and “start spinning.” “I stole something.”
She slipped her hand into mine. I thought,That belongs there.
“You stole something you thought was going spare,” I told her as we began to dance.
“I thought about what I wanted and didn’t consider the consequences for other people.”
“Actually, you did. You just backed yourself to do a good job for Marly and Rosie, even if you didn’t have the relevant experience—and you did. Do you see me feeling bad for taking the job? I feel bad for the lying and the mess we’ve caused, but I know I was good enough for that job.”
“Yeah, but you’re a man,” Aspen said miserably. The two of us began to spin in a rapid circle. “You think you’re good enough for any job.”
“Correct. Honestly, it’s great. You should try it.”
“Being a man?”
“Overinflated ego, overconfidence—seriously, it’s brilliant.”
She was beginning to laugh now. I love that I know how to get her smiling again when she’s feeling afraid or overwhelmed. With my parents, I always longed to be able to shake them out of their dark spells, but you know better than anyone that depression doesn’t work that way. I don’t know much about anxiety—yet—but I’m learning that distraction actually does work when Aspen’s anxious, and I love it. I love knowing I candosomething when she’s struggling.
“What is it you told me? Come back to your intentions,” I told her. “You never intended to hurt Rosie.”
“My intention was to do something for me,” Aspen said, her voice small.
