He’s right. I’m still burning, both from fear and from the memory of his lips on mine, but that magical part of my soul remains cold.
I keep walking, refusing to look at him. “Walk away, Vale.”
He doesn’t. Instead, he takes me by the hand and drags me behind a column, hidden from the rest of the ballroom. He spins me to face him, one hand on my lower back to keep me in place. “Mira, listen: I am not going to breathe a word. To anyone. I’m telling the truth, aren’t I?”
I was already struggling to catch my breath, but it’s even harder now that he’s so close and his fingertips are a hairsbreadth away from the bare skin at my back. I clear my throat. “Yes.”
Kaidren breathes a relieved sigh. “Then there’s no problem.” He tucks a braid that’s fallen loose behind my ear, smiling softly. “I believe we were in the middle of a conversation.”
“We weren’t talking.”
“Then let’s not talk.” His head ducks and for a moment, I think he’s going to kiss me again. Instead, he places his lips near my neck. “Dance with me. Please. I’ve been wanting to dance with you all night.”
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted. Part of me yearns for what he’s offering.ThatMira wants to lean into his touch, smile, and allow herself to be swept away by the first boy who’s made her feel like she matters.
But there’s another Mira. The reasonable skeptic who has watched this exact scene play out more than once. How many times did I witness my mother do this? Give up what little authority she had in exchange for a charming smile and false promises.
She was the only person who mattered to me, but Aja was pathetic. She threw her heart around. Let herself fall for the wrong person, again and again. She never learned. The same mistake a thousand times over, and all she had to show for it was me. A kid she never asked for, a mouth she couldn’t feed.
Kaidren says he won’t tell anyone, and right now, he means it. But people change their minds every day.
I think about Luc. All the promises he’s made me. He told me he loved me, and he meant it. He swore to keep me safe, and he meant it. Whenever the time came to deliver on his promises, he failed. Every. Single. Time.
I think about my mother.
“This one’s different, Mira. He’s going to change everything for us. You’ll see.”
She really believed them. No matter how often she was cast aside and forgotten. No matter how many times she knelt in front of our empty fireplace, sobbing.
Aja was my whole world, but I’ve always known if I want to survive—if I want more for myself—I can’t afford to be anything like her.
I fix my hardened gaze on Kaidren and push his hand aside. “I don’t want to dance. I don’t want to talk. I want you to leave me alone.”
It’s a good thing he can’t tell when I’m lying. At least, that’s what I tell myself as I keep my head high and march away. This time, he doesn’t follow.
Steel and ice. There’s a wall around my frozen heart, and I know what I have to do.
It takes me a few minutes to find Sef, but the moment she sees me, she rushes to my side. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Where have you been?” Her worried eyes stop on my swollen nose. “Are you all right? What happened to your face?”
“Selva Sixmen. It was an accident, and it doesn’t matter. Did you do what we discussed?”
Sef is still staring at my nose. “Yes.”
“Good, because our ‘just in case’ plan is now theonlyplan.”
Sef finally meets my eyes, startled. “You mean you want me to . . . ?”
“Yes.”
She nods, but her expression is wary. “All right . . . but I thought you wanted to try blackmail first before going to extremes?”
“Things changed.” I want to tell her why. But admitting that Kaidren kissed me means confessing to the way he’s been making me feel, and I can’t do that without feeling like a star-headed fool. “Convincing him is going to be more complicated than I thought. We’ll have to force his hand. If everything’s ready, do it. Now.”
As a child, I promised myself I’d make it out of Ophera. More recently, I made myself another promise: to steal the throne I win for Luc.
Unlike every other liar in my life, I refuse to revert on my word. People like me aren’t given what we want. We have to steal it.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
