When we reach the top of the mountain, the other passengers of the sky cart turn to make their way to the Honorate houses where they work, but Kaidren and I move to the arena.
It’s locked now, before training, but the domed ceiling is made of tshira. Kaidren and I twist our way up the stairwell that clings to the outside of the arena and leads to the roof. We’re both out of breath by the time we reach the top.
I place a hand on the tshira roof. Tendrils of heated magic spread through my body, making me feel light as a wispy cloud. I savor that feeling as, under the force of magic, the roofmelts. It’s still here, but its form is shifted from an impenetrable, solid barrier into a membrane, like with the cell walls when we fled prison.
Carefully, I climb through the tshira, slipping onto the ledge on the inside of the arena.
It’s pitch-black in here.
Foreboding is a heavy sensation in my gut. I clutch Kaidren’s hand—to keep track of him and so I don’t fall—as we move down the benches in the stands. At the base, we enter an equipment room and steal two aikkari uniforms. They don’t fit either of us perfectly, but they have masks that cover our faces, which is all we need.
We’re concealed head to toe as we make our way to the servants’ entrance to Widow’s Hall.
A few servants glance at us as we enter, but we’re soldiers, and they’re trained to not ask questions. No one stops us as we slip inside.
The view from the balcony off Luc’s office is the best in all of Virdei. But as I sit here with Kaidren, neither of us is enjoying the view. We’re lying in wait, masks off, for Luc to return to his study and dismiss his guards.
In the meantime, Kaidren and I haven’t exchanged a single word. I keep count of each painstaking second and avoid looking at him.
We’re back in Virdei. We both know what that means, but so far, neither of us has said it out loud.
Four minutes of terse silence later, he turns to me. “Mira.” He says my name softly, entreating me to look at him.
I do. And immediately regret it. There’s more emotion pooling in his eyes than I know how to deal with right now.
“I just wanted to say that my offer stands. There’s a place at my side, and it’s reserved for you.”
My heart thumps so hard it hurts. “I’m not going to back down.”
“I know.” He smiles, sad and wistful. “But I had to offeragain. Just in case. I’ve enjoyed this. Being at peace with you. Even if it was only for a moment.”
“Me too.”
Placing a hand on the side of my neck, he strokes my cheek with his thumb. After a pause, he kisses me. It’s softer than his earlier kisses. It’s sweet the way that I’m not, and full of longing. When he pulls away, he doesn’t lower his hand. “I wish you and Lucien good luck in the Tournament.”
I put my hand over his, not to push him away but because it’s comforting. “No, you don’t.”
“You’re right. I don’t,” he murmurs with a rueful grin. “But after this, everything between us changes. I think losing you will be easier if we lie to each other.”
My heart is heavy. I wonder if I’m making the right decision, even as I know I won’t change my mind. “In that case, good luck, Kaidren.”
“Good luck, Remira.”
We sit like that, not saying a word, until we hear the door to Luc’s office open.
Only when I’m sure his guards have left, do I stand and push open the balcony door.
My brother sits at his desk, face buried in his hands, looking brutally exhausted, like he’s going to collapse any second.
“Hey,” I say softly.
He jumps. His head flies up, slumping eyes widening. Usually when I startle him, he relaxes when he sees it’s me. This time, the tension doesn’t fade. “Mira?” His tone is disbelieving. “Is it really you?”
“It’s me.”
He flicks through a dozen emotions before settling on relieved. He hurries around his desk to envelop me in a tighthug. “Stars in hell, Mira,” he breathes into my hair. “You’realive. When no one found you, I worried you froze out on the mountain. Are you all right? Where have you been?”
“I’m all right.”
