CONNOR:Are you going to throw tomatoes when I get up there too or will watching my public humiliation be enough for you on its own
ANNIE:I *think* it will be enough, but I reserve the right to change my mind about that
CONNOR:Unbelievable
ANNIE:It will be great. If we want more people using the dashboard, first we need more people to know about it. Just go up there and don’t be yourself
CONNOR:Very inspiring words
ANNIE:If you’re thinking about how much extra work it’s going to be you don’t need to worry
ANNIE:I’ll make the slide deck
CONNOR:Will you do my homework for me too?
CONNOR:I can make my own slide deck. I don’t trust you not to mess with me.
ANNIE:Fine. But take it seriously
ANNIE:I think it’s important we come across as professional for this
CONNOR:And how does one come across as professional, exactly?
He turns his head toward me and raises an eyebrow, his silent signal that the rest of this conversation will take place out loud. I wheel my chair back and turn toward him, crossing one leg over the other. His eyes track the movement. I’m suddenly very aware of the fact my legs are on show. Is he looking? Is it warm in here? Why am I flustered?
I refocus on the conversation at hand.
“Well,” I hedge. “I was thinking maybe you could…”
I trail off, gesturing vaguely at his sweater.
“Maybe I could…”
“You know,” Isay.
“Oh, I think I’m going to need to hear you sayit.”
“Get dressed up a bit,” I blurt, my cheeks burning. “Like, put on a blazer or something.”
“A blazer.”
“Maybe not.” I try to picture Connor in a blazer and simply cannot do it. “Never mind.”
“You think I dress like a slob?”
“No,” I say emphatically. “I just mean like, maybe don’t wear a hat that day. Whatever. It doesn’t matter. You know what, forget I said anything.”
I turn back toward my desk and delve into my unopened emails with vigor.
He lets the conversation drop, but later that afternoon Icatch him looking pensively down at his sweater, a hand running up and down his chest.
Did I hurt his feelings? All I wanted to tell him was that if he dressed more like the extremely competent adult he is rather than cosplaying the goofy frat boy he pretends to be, people might take him more seriously. Should I turn back to him and add an amendment like,Actually Connor, that’s one of my favorite sweaters on you. It looks nice with your eyes. You always look great no matter what you’re wearing. If you really want the truth, I’m finding you so hot that it’s becoming a problem for me. Please don’t change.
I say none of that, of course. I don’t dare broach the subject a second time, but instead make a silent vow to inconspicuously compliment him for being a nonslob at the next available opportunity and hope he forgets all aboutit.
Twelve
In the end, Connor doesn’t so much agree to the Lunch and Learn as he just stops resisting it. Once Ben threw his might in with mine, it was game over.
