“Hey, Ben,” I chirp.
“Whoa, where did you come from?” Ben says, jumping at the sound of my voice.
“Just a quick question for you,” I continue, crowding him back into the lift. “I was wondering: are you single?”
He presses himself against the back wall, like he’s trying to physically distance himself from the question. The look on his face is one of muted terror.
“Wh-what makes you ask that?”
“Just wondering,” I say, trying not to spook him further. He’s really squirming here. “I haven’t heard you mention anyone.”
“Hah, right,” he says, his shoulders lowering.
“So are you?” I press.
He tenses again. “Er. Yeah.”
I beam at him. “That’sgreatnews.”
“Is it? I mean, we all are. Me, Marty, John. Connor,” he adds meaningfully.
“Right, yeah. I knew that. You were the question mark.”
Ben forces out a strangled laugh. “Well, now you know. The whole team is. Look at that. All of us. Equally single.”
I was not expecting Ben to be this nervous just having toadmitthat he’s single. It doesn’t bode well for his first date with Carrie, who is a very confident woman. Maybe I will have to chaperone.
“So, was there any reason you were wondering…?” Ben asks again, still wary.
“It’s just good to know these things,” I tell him, not wanting to reveal my true purpose. Subtlety is key when it comes to matchmaking. “You never know who might be interested in hearing that information.”
“Hmm, right, yeah. Of course. But you know…” He trails off for a second, then light dawns. “Office relationships are forbidden.”
“They…are?”
“Yeah. Super frowned upon,” he says, nodding with vigor. “You could get fired.Icould get fired. My boss is really againstit.”
“Your boss…Connor?”
“And your boss,” he agrees. “Connor. Very against workplace relationships. He wouldn’t even like that we’re talking about this sort of thing right now.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously. Oh look at that, we’re here,” he says as the elevator dings.
I step out into the cafeteria and wait for him to follow.
“Do you know what, I just realized I forgot something,” he says, jabbing at a button in front of him. “I’ll go back down and get it. No need to wait for me. I’ll seeya!”
The door slides shut.
I’m baffled by what just happened there. Workplace relationships are forbidden? If that were true, this place would have no need for annual layoffs; we’d lose ten percent of the workforce after every Christmas party.
I can’t imagine Connor taking a firm stance on it, either. Though you never know; he is a stickler for the rules at times. I don’t think it’s a deal-breaker. I hope not, anyway. I’ll figure itout.
—
It takes me a week to get a working list of the most common objections to the dashboard and then come up with a plan. I summon the entire team to a meeting room early one Thursday morning to reveal it, sending around a calendar invite titledOperation Use the Dashboard.
