A plan is forming rapidly in my mind. If Shannon is having second thoughts about her pending nuptials, maybe all she needs is another option. And I can give her that option. I just need to get her to New York.
“So when will you hear about your conference thing?”
I swear shegrowls.“They’re sending him instead.”
I am totally baffled by this cryptic statement, and when she points out the window toward a man sitting at the bus stop across from the traffic lights, I’m even more confused.
“They’re sending…that old guy?”
“No, not him,” she says, ever dismissive. “Him.On the billboard.”
Would we go so far as to call the giant poster on the inside of a bus shelter abillboard? I decide not to quibble. I see what she’s referring to now: behind the old guy waiting for his bus is a life-size image of a shiny real estate man, extra sexy. Judging by the almost demonic way Shannon said the wordhim,I’m guessing she is not afan.
“Who ishe?”
“The worst person in the world. And unfortunately, the top salesman last year. He gets the trip.”
“Bastard.” I say it with feeling. Now that I look closer, I mistrust his smolder.
“Heisa bastard,” she seethes. “And he wears theworstshoes.”
“That is truly damning.”
“I want to run him over with my car.”
“OK, whoa,” I say, laughing. She went from calm to venomous in a heartbeat. “Let’s just dial it down a little with the murder. You can’t run a man down because you don’t like his shoes.”
The light has changed, and she speeds forward, leaving the bus shelter poster in our rearview and channeling her rage by cutting off another car when she switches lanes.
I watch in fascination as she broods silently, and for the second time in as many minutes I wish I knew what was going on in her life, that I had the context for whatever rivalry she has going on with her co-worker. Instead, I sit quietly while she works through it on her own and wait for the mist to clear.
ANNIE:So my flavor was called…Coco-nutty. On the carton I drew a picture of a coconut with arms and legs holding a barbell. He had a little speech bubble that said “I’m here to get shredded”
ANNIE:Because it had coconut shreds in it
ANNIE:Get it??
CONNOR:I’m speechless
“Anyway,” Shannon says, picking up the conversation like the last five minutes of white-knuckling the steering wheel never happened. “The trip’s not happening.”
“It still can,” I say to her, tossing my phone out of reach. “You could just come for a visit. I have a few holidays left I could take.”
“I don’t.”
“A weekend, then. Everyone knows you can do New York in a weekend.”
She says nothing.
“Seriously, Shan. It would be so great. We can still go dressshopping.And,” I say, like I’ve come up with the ultimate clincher, “I’ve already scouted out like half the bars and restaurants where they filmReal Housewives.”
She cuts me a look. I’ve got her attention.
“They’re all shit,” I warn. “But Idoknow where they are.”
“I’m not sure. I need to save for the wedding.”
“I have air miles coming out of my eyeballs.”
