“Wow, you really have thought of everything,” I muse, staring down at the paper. “11:45 might be too soon, though, even if I can get a ticket. I need to pack my suitcase.”
“I’ve taken care of everything,” she says grandly. “And don’t worry about your suitcase. Your father already put it in the car.”
At this I do laugh. “Oh my god, Mom. You’re insane.”
“An insanely good mother,” she quips, then leans over the banister and shouts downstairs. “CARL—”
His voice drifts up from the basement. She informs him in shrill tones that we’ll be leaving in ten minutes.
I don’t even bother with outrage, just go with it. Now that it’s decided I’m leaving, I want to get going as soon as possible. I feel an almost desperate urgency to get back and make things right.
My parents both accompany me on the drive to the airport.Dad is pleased; we’ve timed the journey perfectly, missing rush hour and gliding down the highway at record speed.
Mom holds court from the passenger seat, reading out her favorite inspirational nothings from her Quote A Day desk calendar. She’s saved about thirty of them in an envelope she keeps in her purse for exactly this kind of pep talk, and flicks through them one byone.
Since she doesn’t know the nature of my relationship crisis, and I refuse to share any more details with her, she’s riffing on a range of uplifting themes, covering all her bases.
“Nothingis impossible,” she says grandly. “The word itself says I’M possible. Isn’t that nice?”
“That’s very nice.” Dad nods. “Something to think about, sweetheart.”
“And this one from February: ‘If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start walking another one.’ ” She pauses to look over her shoulder. “Now what do you think of that?”
“Yeah, wow,” I say absently. I’m already texting Shannon.
ANNIE:I can’t BELIEVE you tattled on me to mom!!!
SHANNON:What are you going to do, duel me?
ANNIE:She’s reading from the Quote A Day!
SHANNON:Here’s a good one…A picture is worth a thousand words, so don’t forget your secret weapon (your tits)
ANNIE:Wow, what month is that from?
SHANNON:It’s the quote from today
SHANNON:Good luck. Say hi to your boyfriend for me xo
—
I think about Connor the entire flight. How nice he is, and how fun, and how smart. How he hasn’t even taught me how to play chess yet.
I keep returning to the last thing he said to me.So this is what you think of me. I’d been wondering.Out of every mistake I made, that’s the worst. That he could believe I think he’s anything other than perfect chills me to the bone.
I text him when I land, asking to talk after work. I tell him I can meet him at the office. I keep it light. I watch the message go from sent to delivered.
And then a big fat nothing.
I guess that answers the question about whether or not he’s still mad atme.
But so what? Shannon was mad at me for years. I can survive it. I can wait it out. If it takes Connor two years to get over this, then I only have one year and fifty-one weeks togo.
I’m distracted while dragging my bag behind me up the stairs, mostly staring at my phone screen in case Connor decides to show some proof of life.
When I turn the key in the door, an unexpected sight greets me: it’s Carrie, wearing a T-shirt (and only that), her arm frozen midway through eating a raspberry.
I can hear the shower running down the hall.
