I said we were friends and explained how TC had accidentally hit a cat. I showed them the picture of Mascot I’d taken at the vet. “Do you know anyone who wants a cat?” I always asked. “We need to find a good home for him.”
That usually ended the conversation quickly. And okay, Mascot looked less than cuddly in the picture. He was crouched and glowering in his cone collar, caught mid-meow so that he appeared to be baring his fangs. But he didn’t look, as one person put it, like he was plotting to overthrow the free world.
Cooper didn’t message me after our exchange in first period. I hadn’t been surprised when he didn’t communicate with me yesterday. He was spending time with his father. But today?
A few flirty texts would have been encouraging. Any texts would’ve been reassuring. I was left wondering if his silence was just part of his personality—not being chatty over text—or whether he expected us to go back to the way we were before but without the pranks.
Only, if he ghosted me after making me fall for him, I was totally going to start up the pranks again.
I hate to say that it took me until I was walking to drama class to realize I had something I could text him about that wouldn’t make me look needy.
Me:How did Mascot settle in yesterday?
Cooper:Good. His paws barely touched the ground all day. Claire insisted that if she was watching him, he wouldn’t have to wear the cone of shame.
Me:That’s good.
I knew I should say more. Something with subtext. I flipped through emojis. Turns out there isn’t one that meansIneed to know what you think about the two of us.
I put in a cat emoji anyway.
I watched the circles in his message bubble going around. Then stop. Then go around again. Then stop. He didn’t know what to say next. That made two of us.
He finally wrote,We should talk.
He wanted to talk about us. It was either going to be good news or news that would require all of my acting skills in order not to cry through.
A second message came through.I’m not working today. I’ll go to your house after practice.
Me:I can drive you home from practice.
Cooper:I’ve got my mom’s car. I’m driving Claire home.
Me:Your mom isn’t at work today?
Cooper:My dad is picking her up.
I knew I shouldn’t compare his fake texts to his real ones, but I couldn’t help but notice how sparse his words were when he was writing about ourdefine the relationshiptalk.
Me:Okay, see you then.
I resisted the urge to attach myself to Claire after rehearsal and walk with her to the parking lot so I could see Cooper. He and I wouldn’t be able to talk privately with her around, and he’d know I’d walked with her just because I wanted a few extra moments with him.
My new mantra was: Must not look needy. Even if you feel it.
And to think—some people thought learning how to act was a waste of time.
Turned out, I was using that talent all the time.
26
Madeline
I didn’t change my clothes in preparation for Cooper’s visit. I wasn’t going to dress up for him when he might be coming over to give me theLet’s just be friendstalk.
I may have reapplied my makeup and fiddled with my hair, volumizing it and spraying salon product that made it shinier, but I didn’t change clothes.
My father wasn’t home. He usually came home closer to seven, and today I was glad for that. The minutes ticked by. I knew it would take Cooper time to go to his house, drop Claire off, and drive over here, but even for that, he was taking a long time.
