“If you go to such an expensive place for your first date, it will set a bad precedent. You already went overboard on the flowers. If Madeline likes you, she has to like you for you, not for someone you’re pretending to be.”
Mom emphasized the word pretending. Did she mean I shouldn’t pretend to have money or did she think I was pretending about more? “I know,” I said.
Note to self: Tell Madeline that the Fire Grill was out as a first-date restaurant. Otherwise, my mother would think I blew off her advice.
I needed to change the subject. I gestured to the plate of cookies. “If Madeline made those for me, I get to eat them all, right?”
Mom finally returned her attention to her computer screen. “I’m sure she meant for you to share them with the family.”
I nearly said, “Probably not. She didn’t ignoreyourtexts.”
I refrained and stole another cookie. Mom swatted my hand and started a lecture on insulin resistance and how people shouldn’t eat sugar on an empty stomach.
Crisis temporarily averted.
Insulin aside, the cookies tasted great on an empty stomach. I took out my phone and texted Madeline,I only have tastebuds for you. When I told you I could think of better things for our lips to do, eating cookies was what I had in mind.
After a moment, Madeline texted back.
Madeline:I’m only replying so you can’t claim I ignored your text again.
Me:And you accused me of not being romantic.
Madeline:I’ve accused you of many things. Not being romantic doesn’t even make the top ten.
A second later she added,Because, of course, the top ten is filled with all of your stellar qualities.
Nice catch for our parents’ sake. Also, I was calling her bluff on that one.
Me:List them for me. What do you think are my best qualities?
The dots moved up and down as she typed her reply. I wondered how long it would take her to come up with ten believable good qualities about me. Really, I ought to make her say more nice stuff about me in these texts. Perhaps daily. It was all part of our pretense, after all.
I glanced at my mom and saw her watching me again. “The microwave dinged,” she said. “Aren’t you going to get your food out?”
“Oh, right.” I opened the door and pulled my plate out. “I was thanking Madeline for the cookies.”
The fact that I’d been smiling and absorbed in texting her ought to do something to convince my mother that my interest was legit. The odd thing was, I hadn’t been pretending. I hadn’t heard the microwave ding.
While I ate, I checked my phone again. Madeline’s list was there. I knew it would be total BS because she didn’t know me at all.
Madeline:How do I admire thee? Let me count the ways. You’re ...
1. Hot—as previously stated
2. Generous with flowers
3. Funny, although you don’t always show it
4. Loyal to your sister, although you show it too much
5. Loyal to your father (ditto)
6. A hard worker
7. Organized
8. You take responsibility
