He closed his eyes a moment and replayed the watch in his mind, unable to stop thinking about the deck and how he’d finally found a hold—right after he’d wondered about God. He wasn’t entirely sure how everything had happened, but the more he thought about it, the more he knew that God did play a part.
He’d made a bargain, and he would make good on his promise to find out more about that God who’d just let him live.
Chapter 20
March 18, 1854
25 days at sea
Silence hung in steerageafter the “amen” of President Garn’s prayer. And then, more beautiful than ever, Elizabeth’s clear voice started a hymn. The strains carried through the silent air like beams of light—the true light of Christ they so desperately needed now. Ann closed her eyes and let the sound overcome her, but only for a moment.
Concern for Will crept back into her mind. She knew she needed to find him, and she slipped through the groups of people to the nearest corridor. There was no use alerting President Garn or any of the passengers that the wounded first mate had gone missing. She prayed he was in his cabin. Heaven only knew how restless he sounded earlier. Anyone with the ability to leave would prefer to be out of the sick bay, and it was also quite possible he wasn’t thinking clearly.
Even below deck, Ann could tell the waves were interminable. She felt the boat sway beneath her feet, and seawater trickled down the corridor leading to the hatchway. Tucking her supplies into her apron, she climbed the ladder.
With both arms, she pried the hatchway open so she could see out. The deck pitched enough that she could see the rolling waves. On the next wave, the boat would tip the other way, and she could make a run for it across the deck to the cabins. A few seconds passed, and as the boat dipped the opposite way, she knew this was her chance. Hefting her skirts with one hand and holding onto the hatchway with the other, she stepped out onto the deck and ran to the outer door of the set of cabins.
Ocean spray ran off the sides of the deck as she pulled the door open. It was heavy and swollen with water, but fear of the elements at her back motivated her. Once inside, she collapsed onto the bench and rested her head on the table.
She just needed to catch her breath and work up the courage to knock on Will’s door. She’d seen him come and go enough that she knew which cabin belonged to him.
She’d felt the strength of the passengers when President Garn uttered his prayer. Yet had her faith been counted with them? She’d voiced an amen and wished fervently for those things. She tried to cling to the Spirit she’d felt during Elizabeth’s singing. She knew God knew how much she lacked, but did He also know how much she wanted to grow her faith?
Pulling her from her reflections, a thud sounded outside the exterior door, and a drenched figure wearing a jacket with only one sleeve, entered the room. The limp, torn remains of his bandage hung from his exposed arm. He wiped the water and hair from his eyes. She’d never seen Will so disheveled, not even right after his burn.
He stumbled to the side as the boat pitched, and though he hadn’t noticed her yet, she stepped up and steadied him by his good arm.
“Let me help you,” she said. “Let’s get you to your cabin and lying down.”
His weary eyes tried to focus on her, and a smile drew across his face.
“Ann? How did you—” He stumbled to the side and then caught himself. “I must be more delusional than I thought.” Without objection, he put his arm over her shoulder, and she walked him to his cabin door and pushed it open with her elbow.
“I knew you weren’t in your right mind,” she said reproachfully. “What on earth have you been doing?”
He shook his head. “That you do not want to know.”
She helped lower him into the hammock in his room. Though she tried to focus on his needs, she couldn’t help but notice the mannish scent of his soap near the washbasin and the tidy state of a chest in the corner of the room. Water pooled off his clothes beneath his hammock.
She peered at him. “You took a watch, didn’t you? You really are mad, you know that? With your injury—”
His mouth lit into an irritatingly handsome smile. “Does this mean you were worried about me?”
She clamped her eyes shut in exasperation. “Of course I was worried about you! You were my ward. As Dr. Rowley said, you are vital to the success of this ship. I presume what he meant was that you were vital to keep alive, which I cannot see to if you are swept overboard in a storm!” She grimaced and then continued. “I closed my eyes for one minute, and you ran off—”
“You worried about me because I am your ward? Is that the only reason? Duty bound to assist the doctor?”
Why did he have to be so to the point? Here he was again, catching her words even when he was quite clearly physically exhausted. She didn’t know how he did it.
She pursed her lips. “I suppose it wasn’t only because you are my ward ...”
He swayed a little as he sat in his hammock, his feet touching the ground, his bad arm cradled to his chest. He turned toward her and raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to continue.
“We must attend to your wound. The bandage is nearly off; let me help you change the dressing.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
It was not a question she should answer. Not here. Being in his cabin already felt too personal, and now everything she saw and smelled only increased her attraction to him.
