But he shouldn’t try. If he did, he’d be risking too much. His life, even. She swallowed and forced herself to keep reading.
All I ask from you is that you search your feelings and decide what it is you truly want so that when I see you again, you might speak from the heart. I know it is bold, but the more I am away, the more I know I don’t just want to court you. I want to be with you always.
To be with her always. Her heart soared at the thought. She knew she would wish that too if it were not so utterly impossible. In an instant her heart came crashing down again, smashing into pieces somewhere inside herself. They could never be close to one another without Christopher exacting his revenge.
Tears pricked at her eyes, but she continued to read.
I know I will never provide the life of security and luxury you currently enjoy, and I begrudge you nothing if you decide you do not wish to entwine your future with mine.
I wish this letter could be so much more, but for now it must suffice.
My deepest love,
Alex
She pored over the letter a second time, this time clinging to the single sheet of paper after she finished. It wasn’t wise for him to visit. But, oh, after hearing his words and intentions, a large part of her wished he would. Her insides were in turmoil, feeling like a boat half capsized and fighting to stay above water or sink. She glanced at the words one last time, preparing to fold the paper, when a swift hand reached for the letter from behind her.
Reflexively she tightened her grip, and the paper ripped in two.
“What on earth is this?”
Christopher had entered so silently that she hadn’t noticed his approach. Terror seized every part of her as she stood, and without a second thought she pushed what remained of her paper behind the grate at her back and into the fire.
He lunged toward the paper, but it was almost instantly ashes. He shook out the bit of letter he still held. “Who is this—” He glared at the words of the piece in his hand, confirming what he’d guessed. “How did you—”
Her mind raced, but she knew she had to leave Rebekah out of this. “It was on my nightstand. A servant must have left it there.”
“Which servant?” His dark, sinister eyes glinted from the firelight, and she swallowed.
“I don’t know. With all the guests, a great many servants have taken turns stoking the fires, preparing the rooms, and changing out the chamber pots.”
“Arrrgh!” He punched a fist into the top of the armchair. With clenched teeth he read the remaining portion of the letter. She prayed he had only the very first lines and wondered what Christopher made from it. “This man is a fool. I don’t know how this letter came to be here, but I redouble my earlier words. I’ll increase the guards on the grounds and inform them to keep a closer eye on you. If Ieversee him on this property, or near you in any way, I will stop at nothing to rid us of him forever. Don’t encourage him; don’t attempt to draw him here. If you do, what happens to him will be on your head.” He stared down at her. “Do I make myself clear?”
Charlotte felt bile rise in her throat, her hands trembling despite her clenched fists. “What do you have against him? His father’s debts have been paid, and old Mr. Jenkins has even left for the Continent. I demand to know why you can’t stand his son!” Her eyes narrowed, and she added in a whisper, shaking her head at him. “You two used to be the best friends imaginable. What happened?”
At this, Christopher’s lip nearly lifted into a snarl, and he glanced sideways. “You want to know the whole of it?” He huffed an angry snort and stared at her. “Old Mr. Jenkins and Father were best friends too when they were boys. After Old Jenkins was taken to prison, I saw how losing him clawed at father. Once Alex and his parents went away, Father wasn’t who he used to be. I watched him change. I don’t want someone I care about ruining my happiness, so it is much better that we refuse his association in all ways.”
“But Alex won’t go to prison! He’s learned from his father’s deeds. They are not the same man, Christopher.”
“You’ve always been too ignorant,” Christopher spat, rubbing his arm. “How different can he be from the man who raised him? Now, I demand you leave the study at once. I need to review some legal documents, and I will not be disturbed.” He ripped up the last bit of the letter and tossed it into the fire as well, then heaved a tight breath. “Go find Lady Eloise. I’ll come make sure you’ve obeyed when I am through.” His eyes narrowed. “And don’t forget what I said. I meant it, Charlotte. If he interferes, his very life will be on your head.”
Chapter 27
Charlotte sat as still asmarble while Lady Eloise and the other women gossiped around her in the elegant drawing room. They might have been talking about who would make an appearance at the ball, but Charlotte’s thoughts were much more importantly employed. She clasped her fingers together to stop them from trembling.
Why had she been so foolish to read that letter anywhere but in her bedroom? She felt her heart still beating against her bodice. Now Christopher was on even higher alert. As soon as she could manage, Charlotte knew what she must do.
When everyone finally went to dress for dinner, Charlotte requested Margaret help her.
As Margaret tightened Charlotte’s evening dress, she glanced at her reflection in the glass. “Are you well, miss?”
Charlotte appraised herself in the mirror. Lace dripped from the short puff sleeves, the waist was pulled in tight, and more lace cascaded asymmetrically over her large skirt. It was the epitome of Queen Victoria’s latest style. Such a gown should have made anyone look well, but it was only masking her inner agony.
Margaret still stared at her, expectant.
“Oh yes, quite well. It has been a tiring day, I am afraid. Now, could you do something splendid with my hair? Perhaps add some fresh flowers. Anything to draw the attention away from my lifeless cheeks.”
“Yes, miss,” Margaret said.
