It’s then Ash notices that Caro has gone a few steps away. She sinks down to a sitting position, breathing heavily.
“Caro?” Ash crouches down next to her. “What’s happening?”
“I think,” Caro says, between gasps, “that I’m having a panic attack.”
“Okay,” Ash says. “I’ll talk you through it.” She reaches into Caro’s bag for her water. “Close your eyes,” she says. “Put your hand on your heart. Focus on the sound of my voice.”
The ranger glances over at them. “Everything okay?” she asks. “I have water.”
“We’re fine,” Ash calls over, because they do not want more attention and Caro is a doctor and this will all be fine. This will all be fine, right? Ash will not be the last friend left standing, will she? Ash shifts her body to block Caro as much as possible from the view of the ranger and the other hikers.
“My mom died here,” Caro says shortly. “On this hike.”
“What?”Ash rocks back on her heels, stunned. “You never told us that. I thought she died in a car accident.”
“I sayaccidentand then people assume that’s what it is. And I don’t bother to correct them.” Caro’s face is carved out in pain.
Did she fall?Ash wants to ask.Why are you even doing this hike? You don’t have to push yourself so hard all the time!she wants to say. But she stays quiet, her hand on Caro’s back, and Caro keeps her hand over her heart, and her breathing becomes deeper, steadies. Around them the world carries on.
“She didn’t fall,” Caro says softly. “She had an aneurysm.”
“Oh, Caro,” Ash says. “I’m so sorry.” She swears she can feel Caro’s heart beating through her body.
No wonder she wants to get this over with.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Ash asks. “Back when Hope first mentioned coming to Eden? Or hiking to Seraph’s Perch?”
“Because.” Caro gestures at the view. “It’s one of the most beautiful places in the world. I wouldn’t want to keep you guys from seeing it.”
“Have you been up here since it happened?” Ash asks gently.
“I’ve never done this hike before,” Caro says.
“Never?”
“No,” Caro says. “My dad never brought me. He was with her the day it happened, and he never hiked it again. And I never wanted to.”
“Did Hope know?” Ash asks, because she cannot imagine that Hope would have them revisit the site of such a family tragedy. If Carodidtell Hope, then this morning’s message is definitelynotfrom Hope.
Caro shrugs. “I didn’t tell her,” she says. “But I’m realizing that I don’t know what Hope knew and didn’t know.”
And then, in what feels like one of those heroic moments, where a mom lifts a car off her child or someone leaps from a burning building with a puppy in their arms, Caro stands up.
“Caro,” Ash says.“Wait.”
“No,” Caro says. “I’m fine. Let’s get this done.”
“I really—” Ash says, but Caro is heading for the next part of the hike—the ridge, the sheer drops on either side, the chains.
The chains.
Ash’s stomach sinks.
The formations ahead look otherworldly, like the pictures she has seen of places in China, scrappy trees clinging to jagged cliffs. But these cliffs are Technicolor orange and red in the morning light, and they’re sandstone. So easy to slip. So easy to fall.
“Caro,” Ash says. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” Caro says. “I’m steady again.” She stands on one leg, arms outstretched, as if to prove it. She holds fast, she doesn’t wobble.
