But Caro already knows what Hope is doing. She’s affected a southern Utah accent like the one the guys have (and like Caro herself sometimes has, if she’s honest, especially when she’s been back in St. John for a few days). Dan teases her about it.
“I’m disguising myself,” Hope says. “I’m talking like a local.”
“You’regood,” Ash says. “You sound exactly like them.”
Caro feels like she’s being mocked, though she knows it’s a smart move, if they’re going to hang out with the guys. Hope Hanover doesn’t wear dirty hiking pants and a beanie and no makeup and talk like she went to St. John High. She might get away with being someone else.
“Last night at the food truck—” Ash begins.
“I wasn’t ready then,” Hope says. “But I’m ready now.” She squares her shoulders and looks at Caro. “You didn’t tell Spencer we were coming on this hike, right?”
“No.”Caro’s shocked. “I haven’t seen him in years. I haven’tthoughtabout him in years.”
“That doesn’t mean he hasn’t been thinking about you.” Before Caro can protest, Hope carries on. “Are you with me?” She looks at Caro, then at Ash.
“Yes,” Ash says.
“Yes,” Caro agrees.
“Okay,” Hope says. “Off we go, then. To the lions’ den.”
11
ASH
FIRES AREN’T ALLOWED INthe Underground, so the men have set up two camping lanterns and dragged over pieces of driftwood to sit on. Ash misses the flicker of a campfire—that always seems to make things cozier.Here we go, she thinks.We’re really doing this.
“Want one?” The guy named Kevin holds up a six-pack of beer. Ash wonders how much they brought, why you’d choose to pack in that unnecessary weight. But the men are all in good shape, so it probably didn’t affect them that much. “No thanks,” she says, holding up her water bottle. “I’m good.”
Hope takes a can. Caro declines. Spencer, Ash notices, also isn’t drinking. “So, poker,” Hope says, rubbing her hands together. Ash hears a wicked note in Hope’s voice. “I should warn you guys, I’m pretty good. What are we playing for? Cash?”
“Sorry to disappoint you.” Spencer gestures to a few cans of Pringles. “We’re using those as chips.”
“Very literal,” Hope says. “I like it.”
“One of us gets too mean when we’re playing for money.” Kevin’s tone is dry but he doesn’t seem to be completely joking.Who?Ash wonders. It seems unlikely he’d be sending himself up, and Spencer appears to be a decent human being. So, Tony?
“I’ll deal.” Tony starts handing out the cards, dropping them onto astriped camp blanket that they’ve spread out between the lanterns. Ash hasn’t played poker since college. She is going to be very, very rusty.
Tony’s sleeve slides up and she sees the tattoo again. “What do the numbers of your tattoo mean?” she asks, and then she wishes she hadn’t. It’s his business, not hers. She always does this—talks too much when she’s feeling nervous.
“A date that’s important to me,” Tony says. “My daughter’s birthday.”
And even though that’s a sweet answer, Ash still feels uneasy about Tony. She’s not sure what the difference is between him and his brother, Kevin, who is striking fewer chords of wariness with her. Spencer is by far the most likable of the group, and he’s cute and smart. He’d have to be, though, if he’d ever dated Caro.
Ash has always prided herself on being a good judge of character. Lately, though, that’s taken a hit. There was the employee she hired who quit within a week and went to work for another florist, who started copying Ash’s arrangements. There’s the shift in Wade lately, to someone she doesn’t completely know.
And lately, Ash feels like she doesn’t entirely trustherself.
So what does that say? About her, or her ability to judge character? And when did the self-loathing begin? She feels like it’s always been lying dormant in her, ready to rear its head when she’s feeling unsafe, like middle school and high school, until she can get it to retreat and lie down again. So why has it been back the last couple of years?
“Done,” Tony says, putting down the cards. “Let’s play.”
Ash takes a look at her hand. It’s not great; she remembers that much at least. Which is fine. She doesn’t care if she wins. Also, she hates Pringles. She gets why Hope wanted to do this, but she still wishes it were the three of them hanging out at their campsite. She wishes Spencer hadn’t come over with the invitation. She wishes Caro didn’t know him. This makes everything so much more complicated.
“Did you go to high school in St. John?” Tony asks Hope. “You seem familiar.”
“No,” Hope says. “Juniper City.” It’s a town near here, Ash knows. Butshe doesn’t know much more than that. Does Hope? And of course Hope wouldn’t want to reveal her real identity, but why wouldn’t she choose something closer to her actual life?
