And everything happened in the summer.
71.
once
Freshman year, the last Friday of the summer.
It was now or never.
We were partway through the run. We’d come up the gorge and around the lake and were starting to stride it out by Flatrock.
“It’s okay if you never do it,” Alex said. He’d hung back from running with the other guys to run with me. “It’s not, like, a thing.”
“It’s totally a thing,” I said.
“Chelsea Hansen hasn’t jumped and she’s definitely not going to,” he pointed out.
“I know, but Chelsea Hansen is a senior and she belongs anyway,” I said.
“Exactly my point,” Alex said, his arms and legs loose, his voice easy. “She belongs anyway.”
“She’s not on varsity, though,” I told him. “I think to really be on varsity you have to make the jump.” I was running well, good enough to make varsity as a freshman, but I knew I would never totally belong if I didn’t jump.
“You’re getting all superstitious,” Alex said. “You don’t really believe that, do you? There are other people who haven’t jumped. Lots of them.”
“A few girls, but none of them are on varsity,” I said. “And every freaking guy has done it.”
“Huh,” Alex said. He was silent for a few strides. “Guys are idiots, though.”
“True.”
“You don’t have to do this unless you want to,” Alex said.
A huge heron lifted up over Flatrock.
But here was the thing.
I wanted to do it. I did.
“Today,” I said firmly. “If you have any advice, give it to me now.”
He was quiet for a while. A quarter of a mile, maybe.
“I think the overthinking is what’s getting you,” Alex said. “Size it up once today before you go. You know exactly where we all jump from. You’ve been up there before. Then jump. Don’t think. I’ll go up there and show you if you want.”
“Okay,” I said. “Now go ahead and leave me. Get out of here.”
He laughed and moved ahead.
I was going to get it the hell over with. I was going to do it fast and then I would be done. No preamble, no drama. Finished. Finally.
I started to pick up my pace.
I caught up with the fastest girls. For the first time ever. I’d been able to run with the second-fastest group, but not the top four, who ran in kind of a loose pack.
“Oh, hey, July,” one of them said.
“Hey,” I said.
