Page 103 of The Only Girl in Town


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186.

now

Do I

breathe in water

or

swim for air.

187.

now

I have done good things and bad things.

I have tried and given up.

So.

The question is.

Can I do this?

Living?

Knowing it will all happen again?

Not the same things. Not the same pain.

But with new? And still the old?

My favorite book says

there are worse things than dying.

That’s true, of course.

There is something worse than death.

It’s loneliness.

And I have been

so

absolutely

lonely.

I am July Fielding.

I am a Fall Creek Girl.

I have traveled in a pack. I have traveled alone.

I run faster than fast, harder than hard.