She always appears exactly when I need her, always comes to my defense, despite the potential damage to her own reputation.
I canfeelRowenna rolling her eyes, but I’m not in the mood to doubt one of my only allies just because Rowenna feels jealous and insecure. Instead,Ifall silent and pretend not to hear her reminders to stay vigilant.
Ignoring her isn’t easy. Every passing second feels more excruciatingthan the one before it. The wrenching in my chest is so heavy, I’m certain it will crush me. But as seconds turn to minutes, I realize there’s something empowering about being the one to wield the silence. I feel a bit like the gemstones the Vanzadorian miners cleave from this mountain. Simple rock, transformed by the crushing weight. I, too, am changing. Growing harder, sharper, and clearer. I don’t have to give in to anyone’s demands—not even my sister’s.
Assuming the voice in my head was ever hers to begin with and not just a way to fill the Rowenna-shaped hole in my life.
As soon as I think these traitorous thoughts, the space around me crackles with cold, and the feel of my sister’s presence vanishes faster than the morning dew. Once again, I don’t immediately call her back. She can no longer manipulate me with the threat of being left all alone because I’m not alone.
I glance up at Elodie, who sets my food on a small table and drops into the seat across from me with a heavy sigh.
There’s no denying the toll our “friendship” has taken on her. Her braids fall lank around her shoulders, and her makeup creases in the bags beneath her eyes. Even still, she musters a smile as she pushes the plate in front of me.
“Thank you for coming to my rescue back there,” I say.
She shakes her head and touches her temple. “I don’t know what you were thinking. You haven’t had a single nice thing to say about Alaric all this time, then suddenly you’re going toe to toe with the queen to defend his honor?”
“I didn’t mean to.” I wince. “It just came out.”
“You know I’m all for you falling madly in love with your husband—that’s why I’ve been instructing you in the art of seduction.” She winks and I shake my head with horror.
“I’m not falling in love with him!”
Elodie rolls her eyes and continues… “But you still have to use your brain, Indira.”
The irony is almost laughable—this seemingly frivolous courtier is tellingmeto use my brain. Rowenna would have a heyday with this reversal, and I feel another odd surge of satisfaction that she left. That I’m allowed to feel how I want to feel. Trust who I want to trust.
I stab a large bite of pie and bring it to my lips. “It’s completely unfair, how some of them treat Alaric. How they judge him.”
“Lots of things on this mountain are unfair,” Elodie says gravely, as if she’s ever experienced suffering or injustice.
Once again, my mouth spews out words before my brain thinks better of it. “What about your life could possibly be unfair?”
Her pretty face crumples, and I immediately hate myself for being just as small-minded and judgmental as the rest of the courtiers.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.” I reach for Elodie’s gloved hand. “It’s just everything about you, and your life, seems so perfect.”
“Did you know they won’t let me compete in the stone-throwing contests?” she says with surprising bitterness. “Not even as an alternate. This week two competitors failed to show, and they chose to refund all of the bets rather than letting me step in.”
I don’t know what shocks me more—the fact that she wants to compete in the brutish competitions or that she’s ever been denied anything.
“You want to compete?” I ask with surprise.
She nods firmly. “More than anything. I’ve been practicing in private for years, but women of my status aren’t permitted to ‘debase’ ourselves in the ring. Noblemen aren’t denied such privileges, but because I wear dresses and enjoy salons, they assume I’m incapable of working hard and getting dirty. They insist I’ll injure myself, which is offensive and infuriating.”
I’m so surprised by Elodie’s admission, I can’t think of a single thing to say, which ends up working in my favor, because she keeps on talking, spurred on with conviction I’ve never seen before.
“You know what else is unfair? Certain council members arepetitioning to have my mother removed from her position due to her recent illness. They’re acting as if she’s done something wrong—like we all don’t fall ill from time to time.”
“I didn’t know that your mother was unwell,” I say with a frown. “What does she have?”
Elodie shrugs. “Just a fever of some sort. The healers insist she’ll turn the corner soon.”
“How long has it been?”
“A few weeks.”
I nearly choke on the pie in my mouth. Elodie’s mother has been ill for the entirety of my time in Vanzador,but it has never come up in our hours upon hours of conversation.
