The shepherds are still keeping their distance, but I lower my voice and step closer anyway. “King Ihsan will never welcome us if he knows we’re being pursued by the Shoniin and the Zemyans. He’s notoriously stingy with aid. Namaag only supports neighboring nations if it doesn’t pose a threat to their own land and people. Which is one of the reasons I didn’t want to start our recruitment here. They’re the only Protected Territory that hasn’t been exploited by the Sky King because Ashkar is so dependent on their aqueducts, so they don’t share nearly as much hostility toward the Unified Empire.”
“We don’t technicallyknowthat Temujin and Kartok are coming, so we don’t need to tell them anything,” Serik says, and now I’m the one pinning him with a dubious look.
“I suppose we also don’tknowthat the sun will rise each morning, but it’s such a forgone conclusion, we don’t bother considering what would happen if it didn’t.”
“This definitely isn’t sun-level certainty,” Serik argues.
“What happens when Kartok and the Zemyans scale these gigantic trees to get to us? King Ihsan will feel used and blindsided. He won’t come to our aid and he definitely won’t join our rebellion.”
“I disagree. Fighting with us is preferable to being conquered by the Zemyans … and it doesn’t matter if it’s dishonest. It’s our only option. We just have to hope the scout is slow and the warriors Temujin and Kartok send are even slower. The grasslands are harsh this time of year, and they have no Sun Stoker.”
I gnaw on my lower lip and look up at the treetop city. “There’s so much that could go wrong….”
Serik takes my shoulders and forces me to look at him. “This is exactly what I’m talking about, En. Things could just as easily go right. Try to see the positive. We’ll never be able to convince the Namagaans to forge this alliance without your help, but we’re doomed before we even enter Uzul if you lead with suspicion and allow the past haunt you. Let it go—for yourself. For all of these people depending on us”—he motions to the shepherds—“and for your captive people in Verdenet.”
I stare into his eyes, so warm and soft and hopeful, despite everything. “Fine. Find me a shovel,” I say with a reluctant nod.
Serik’s face twists with confusion. “Ashovel? Why do you need a shovel?”
“Because I’m finally ready to bury the past.”
CHAPTER NINE
GHOA
THEZEMYANS LAUGH AND CONGRATULATE EACH OTHER ASthey shove me into the back of a covered wagon. It reeks of sweat and vomit, and I cringe as my face smashes into the boards and slides through something wet and gritty.
Get up! Fight! Stop being pathetic.
But my mind can’t convince my body to move. Not even as the Zemyans spit into my hair and slam the door. I don’t see the point. I’m not the peerless commander I thought I was. My warriorsleftme. After I saved them. And if I move, I will have to accept that this isreal.That all of this is truly happening.
The Sky King is dead.
The Zemyans have taken Sagaan.
I still don’t understand how it’s possible. They were advancing, yes, but they would have had to sprout wings and fly to reach the capital so quickly.
Unlesssomeonein Ashkar helped them. Snuck them in.
I see Enebish’s starfire demolishing the buttress and crushing the Sky King for the millionth time, and her name explodes from my throat like a cannonball. “Hypocrite!” I bellow. “Howdareyou condemn me for what happened at Nariin, then go and do something even worse! You’ll be responsible for ten times as many deaths!”
No matter how deeply I breathe, I can’t seem to fill my lungs. No matter how tightly I clutch my forehead, I can’t slow the blood pounding my temples like fists. Enebish is the closest thing I’ve ever had to a sister. The one person I was certain I could never lose. She owes me everything. I have always been her everything.
And this is how she repays me.
You shouldn’t be surprised. You shouldn’t allow it to hurt you.
Itdoesn’thurt me.
But as the wagon lurches forward, I see her dark eyes peering up at me through the smoke of her burning village in Verdenet. I feel her tremble in front of me on the saddle as we ride back to Sagaan. I hear her breathing even out with sleep, her thin body sinking into mine as if I’m the most comfortable bedroll she’s ever slept in.
“Enebish!” I scream her name again. I know she’s nearby. “At least have the courage to look me in the eye as you drive your knife into my back! How can you fight alongside the people who murdered your parents? How can you help them destroy the empire that gave you refuge? Do you realize what this means for Verdenet?”
She doesn’t answer, because she’s a coward. But that doesn’t mean she can’t hear me. I take a deep breath and continue shouting. I have enough accusations to fill the entire journey to Zemya. But after less than five minutes, the wagon creaks and a pale face fills the small, barred window on the door.
“Hold your tongue, or I’ll hold it for you,” a gruff voice threatens. I can only see the upper half of the man’s face. His eyes are the color of a glacier, framed by thick blond eyebrows, and pale patchy stubble covers his sallow cheeks. It’s hideous and unnatural, as if all the color was leached from his body as punishment for his wicked magic—just as the legends claim.
“If you want to silence me, come in here and do it!” I spit.
