“Looks can be deceiving,” the Shoniin girl says fiercely. “I assure you, she’s a warrior. And she’s the precise sort of help weneed.I’ve been waiting for her tofind us.” Her eyes meet mine, banishing the last of my doubts about her identity.
The children clap and chatter excitedly, but still I don’t move. Because knowing this girl is Shoniin only proves that they are conspiring against the empire.
Except,technically,she didn’t say anything about revolution, only that the children must protect themselves. Which is true. The grazing lands are dangerous, and no one seems to be looking out for them. This isn’t so different from Imperial Army training camps. It could be argued that these children are getting a head start even, which gives the army a head start. Plus, I need to worm my way into the Shoniin’s circle. And this is clearly my invitation.
My ticket to Temujin.
The girl hefts a wooden saber from the pile and tosses it to me. The blade spins end over end, the crimson ties fluttering like twin slashes of bloodred. At the last second, I lunge through the gate and catch the rough-hewn grip in my palm.
The children cheer, and the girl’s brows lift as if to say,Not bad.Slowly, I make my way to her side, lifting my chin and stiffening my knee to walk with as little a limp as possible. I don’t want the children to think me weak.
Or realize who I am.
They can know I’m a warrior, but they can never knowwhichwarrior.
“First, we’ll practice drawing techniques,” the girl announces.“Batto!”In one fluid motion, she slides her wooden sword from an imaginary sheath and raises it above her right shoulder. The children imitate her. I know they expect me to perform the move as well, but the sword slips in my sweaty palm. I’ll never be able to complete the move with my bad arm. I won’t be able to completemostof the moves—at least not well.
Something you should have considered before limping up here and making a fool of yourself.
Seeing my panic, the girl announces, “Our esteemed guest will be moving through the lines to correct your form. Listen well.”
Shooting her a grateful glance, I make my way through the group. At first the children are skeptical of my suggestions, but as they ask questions and I share tales from my days in battle, I slowly earn their trust until they soak up my coaching like bread in gravy.
Over the next hour, my confidence grows until I’m clapping and yelling as loud as the Shoniin girl—learning the children’s names and patting their backs. My cheeks ache from so much smiling, and despite the chilly night and late hour, I feel warm. And invigorated. Not even the pesky ribbons of night curling around my throat are able to ruin this moment.
For the first time in two years, I don’t just feel like a warrior again. I feel like myself.
“Will you join us again tomorrow?” the Shoniin girl asks as the children file out of the garden.
I accept without a second’s hesitation. I would say yes even if it didn’t advance my mission.
“Good. I’m Inkar, by the way,” she says. “And for what it’s worth, they’re wrong to call you a monster. Someone monstrous could never be so wonderful with the children. You’ve a gift for it.”
Her words trail me as I amble back to my lean-to and nibble on a barley cake. I hear them as I bow and scrape to Orbai, begging forgiveness for tethering her to this tree. And the compliment replays loudest of all when I retrieve my parchment to write Ghoa.
My quill skitters across the page. I want to make her proud. I want to rejoin the Kalima. But not by trampling children underfoot. Like the rations, the training is doing them an enormous amount of good. And Inkar never said a single thing that was outright contrary to the empire. Nor did she mention Temujin or his hideout. He could have nothing to do with this training operation.
You’re making excuses,Enebish the Warrior scolds.You know it’s all connected.
Which is why Iwilltell Ghoa.Soon.I’d report these things immediately if I thought they’d help me close in on Temujin. But a hasty letter from me now would only harm innocent children, who are already suffering enough. I can carry out my missionandhelp the people. One doesn’t have to hinder the other.
I retrieve a fresh sheet of parchment and finally write my report.
Dearest Sister,
I have befriended one of Temujin’s followers. She has said nothing concerning him or his Shoniin—yet—but I believe she will, once she trusts me. She has requested my company again tomorrow night.
Please tell me of Serik. I know I need to stay focused, but that will be easier if I know he’s well.
Yours in obedience,
Enebish
I reread the message as I blow on the ink. I haven’tlied.I just didn’t include every tiny detail. But of course I will—once I’ve found Temujin.
Satisfied, I send the letter off with Orbai and settle into my blanket, trying to ignore the small embroidered ram glowing white against the darkness.
I help Inkar train the children the next three nights. Ghoa’s replies to my unchanging reports grow shorter and terser, but she knows as well as I, you can’t rush building a foundation of trust.
