“Hey, you fucker, I said you could have a sip, not the whole thing!”
Dean only grins, passing me back my empty bottle. “I saved a drop in there for you.”
I huff, taking the final swig. I don’t think about the fact that our lips touched the same rim, because why would that matter? We’vekissed. Which also doesn’t matter, because it was for show. Our friendship? That’s what’s real. That’s why this hurts.
Quiet swells between us. Eventually, Dean prods. “So,” he asks. “Why can’t you lose?”
I think it’s one of the dumbest questions I’ve ever heard, until I realize he’s specifically referring to what I said during the challenge before my epic, caught-in-4K-quality freakout. I sigh and look over at him. The last rays of daylight wrap Dean’s features in a warm, tangerine hue. He meets my eyes these days with so much more confidence than when we first met.
He’spretty.
The thought springs in my mind like a flower perking up in the rain. I would tell him that, but I don’t know how to explain I mean “pretty” in the same way the sunset is coloring the sky right now. The kind of beauty that you need to take a step back from to fully appreciate every detail.
Even though I’ve never needed a shoulder to cry on, I find myself, for once, actually wanting one. Dean’s shoulders look pretty sturdy.
“If I don’t win the cash prize, my mom and I could lose our home,” I say, muttering to the water below. I don’t see any cameras around, and since we’re in our swimsuits, we didn’t have to put our mics on. In this quiet, empty moment alone with Dean, I feel safe enough to be vulnerable. Honest.
“My parents are going through a divorce right now,” I continue. “My dad’s a bum, but he’s the one with a stable job, not her. If I don’t win the money, the courts could force me to live with him. My mom had just let me know the situation’s getting worse. That’s why I was out of it during the challenge. So…” I kick my foot under the water and watch the ripples bubble to the surface. “I can’t lose. Because I can’t lose her.”
“Oh,” Dean says. “I’m… I’m so sorry, Seyoon.” He frowns at our distorted reflections in the lake. “I’m realizing I never asked why you were here.”
“I guess it didn’t come up. I assumed it was the typical stuff for you, redeeming a family legacy, etcetera, etcetera.”
He snorts. “Well, I am doing it to make my dad happy, partially. But I’m mostly here for my sister. She wants—needsto leave our tiny town. Winning is how I can help make that happen.”
“You’re a good brother.”
“You’re a good daughter.”
My chest warms. I know there’s not really incentive to, but I reach over and lay my hand atop his. He flips it over so we’re palm to palm. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a touch. Friends hold hands too.
“I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t help us earn a single point. I even cost us some,” I say quietly. “Thank you for sharing yours with me. You saved my ass. I don’t know how you got all those answers right—you’re incredible.”
He scratches his head. “It’s nothing.”
“Just take the compliment, dude.”
Dean laughs. “Really, though. It’s nothing. Remember how much I needed you in the survival skills challenge? We balance each other out. That’s why we’re partners.” He smirks. “Besides, we’ll win so many points back, it won’t matter that we have to split them, right?”
“I said that to you.”
“I know.”
“You still want to work with me? Despite everything?”
“Of course I do. Because of everything.”
It’s startlingly honest. Dean seems to realize this and rubs the side of his neck, looking down at our interlocked hands instead of at me. No one’s ever wanted mebecauseof everything. Dean has seen me at my lowest, my meanest, my weakest. He’s seen me when I don’t win. And he’s still here.
Heat blossoms from my ears to my chest. I haven’t proven I’m worth it, yet Dean isstillhere.
His face turns pink, but it could be the lighting from the sunset, so I don’t linger on it. Dean swallows. “Seyoon?” he says quietly, like he wants to tell me something devastatingly important. It makes my ears ring.
“Yeah?”
Then Dean inches closer. My breath stalls. He cups my cheek with his palm and presses a gentle kiss on my lips. A graze that lights my senses on fire. My mouth tingles when he pulls away, and I realize I was leaning in, chasing his touch.
“What—” My voice cracks. “What was that for?”
