“Yeah, I did. Felt a little forced.”
I flip my head over and scrub the towel over my scalp again so she can’t see what my face betrays. “Uh, well… imagine you and your girlfriend, Juliet, had a fight, and you had to make up on camera. Of course it’s going to look awkward. Dating on reality TV sucks.”
Guilt churns my stomach. I don’t want to lie to her, not after how close we’ve gotten, not after how honest she’s been withmeabout her mom—but I can’t reveal that me and Dean aren’t even together. It’d be a crack in our front. Something we can’t afford so close to the finals.
Still. It makes me feel like shit not to be honest with her. Lying to my friends is what caused the Agonizing Amelia Incident of Junior Year, after all.
Vendredi turns the faucet on. When I hear her start brushing her teeth, I deem it safe to stand back up and lean against the sink. “I guess you’re right,” Vendredi says around her toothbrush. “So, are you guys solid now, or what?”
“Yeah, we’re solid.” A small smile worms its way onto my face. “That night, Dean took me out to stargaze, and we talked it out properly. Away from the cameras.”
“Well then, I’m glad. Really. I’m happy for you, but…”
My eyebrows furrow. “But what?”
She spits and rinses the toothpaste from her mouth. “But what are you guys going to do if you both make it to the finals?”
My heart pounds harder. It’s a good question. One I’ve been nudging out of my periphery for a while, but as we get closer to the end, I can’t ignore it much longer. Dean and I formed this alliance on the basis of helping each other get to the final challenge, but we haven’t explicitly talked about what comesafterthat.
I push my wet bangs out of my face and gaze at my reflection, stalling at the sight. With my face bare and my hair down like this, I look so much like Umma. Homesickness strikes me in my solar plexus and leaves me a little breathless.
“Dean and I both came here to win,” I answer Vendredi. “When we get to the finals, it’s game on. Winning comes first. Everything else second.”
“Hm,” she says, interestingly. “In that case, I feel a little better asking you this.”
Curious, I face her. Vendredi leans back against the counter, trying to look nonchalant, but I recognize the sharp look in her eyes for what it is. The look of a rival.
“You’re my biggest competitor. It’s tough, because I want to be your friend, but I also want to beat you.” She laughs. “I think you’re the only person who can understand I mean that as a compliment.”
The exciting rush of adrenaline I get before crossing a finish line licks at my heels now. I grin. “Yeah, I know what you mean. So what?”
“So,” Vendredi says slowly. “How aboutweteam up?”
My grin falters.
She goes on. “Beck’s gone, so I don’t have a teammate anymore. With the finals right around the corner, things are going to get tough. Let’s pool our strengths, at least until the finale.”
“But what about Dean?” I ask.
“We can be a trio. Just like we would be if you had taken me up on the offer to join me and Beck.”
The reminder that she already offered me something she’s asking for now makes me wince. I’d be a shitty friend to say no, wouldn’t I?
Vendredi’s confidence wavers here. She laughs awkwardly. “And, to be honest, being in last place doesn’t feel great. My main goal in coming on the show wasn’t to win, initially; it was to get some exposure, hopefully land an acting agent, but since I’ve made it this far,I want to see how much further I can go. I… I could use some help from a friend. We could help each other.”
The conversation feels slippery. I lose hold on my thoughts even as words start spewing from my mouth. “I know we could. But… but Dean and I are partners. Maybe I could talk to him and see…”
My words sound half-hearted, even to me. It’s true that Vendredi would be a great ally, and more than that, she’s my friend. I don’t want to disappoint her. But does inviting a third person into our alliance actually help? It’s so late in the game. It would defeat the unbreakable-couple front we’ve spent this whole time building. Plus, that’s another person to split points with. That’s one more friend I’d have to put to the side when faced with the finish line.
Winning comes first. Ithasto. For Umma.
Softly, I say, “I’m sorry.”
Vendredi’s expression falls. “No, I understand. That’s the nature of the game. I wouldn’t expect you to put our friendship above a competition. You’re too good of a player to do that.” Her gaze drops to the tile, and she smiles awkwardly. The easy, comfortable air between us is disturbed.
She pushes off the counter and makes to leave. My heart seizes with every step she takes. Fuck. Vendredi offered to let me join her and Beck’s alliance when she thought I needed it. And I can’t return the favor when she needs it now?Fuck.
I get along with most people, but it’s rare that I can make a real connection with someone the way I have with her. My intensity usually gets in the way of things. It did with Amelia. But not Vendredi. She’s the first person who’s matched my competitive streakand challenged it instead of being scared by it. I never thought that was possible.
