DO I GET ANY CREDIT FOR NOT RESORTING TO VIOLENCE? BECAUSE I SHOULD
SEYOON
Dean and I are the last ones back to the meet-up spot in front of the buses. Actually, Dean is the last one, because I’m storming twenty feet ahead of him, pretending like I don’t hear him calling my name. Garrett, Blake, the rest of the film crew, and the remaining contestants are waiting there for us.
“There are our slowpokes,” Garrett says. “But hey, you made it with almost two minutes to spare—and each with a Funko Pop! Woah, what’s with those faces? You feeling sick? Try to vomitafterthe point tallying, please. We’re on a tight schedule here.”
It’s easy to ignore him with the ringing in my ears. Vendredi’s concerned face is the first one that sticks out from the crowd. I beeline for her, a safe haven, when Dean jogs over and circles around, blocking my way.
“Not.Now,” I bite out, harsher and louder than I intended. Everybody within earshot turns and stares. All the cameras are pointed at us. Usually, they don’t bother me. But right now, I want to smack them away from my face.
“Seyoon, please. Don’t be mad,” Dean says quietly. I’m not sure if that’s a request for the cameras or if he’s just trying to tell me what to do. And how to feel.Again.
That’s it.
“I can’t believe you,” I snap. The words burn up my throat. “How could you not back me up?Again!”
His shoulders straighten. “We needed those points, Seyoon. No—youneeded them. I was trying to help you.”
Vendredi hesitantly approaches. “Hey, guys, what’s the matter?”
In the bleeding edge of my awareness, I notice Blake pull Vendredi away and whisper something about not obstructing the shot. Whatever she’s saying isn’t nearly as important as the fury pulsating through me.
“I’m mad,” I spit, getting in his face, “because you wanted me to get on my knees and apologize to the guy who’s been nothing short of a raging asshole. I’m mad you asked—expectedme to disrespect myself like that. You called me arrogant for havingprinciples.But you know what’s most upsetting? That you still refuse to speak up for what’s right.”
Dean stiffens. I’ve prodded a sore spot. I see it. The shift. His eyes, soft and shining just hours earlier, narrow and darken with resentment.
“If it wasn’t for me, if I didn’t get usthis—” He snatches the Funko Pop from my hands and shakes it. Figurine Garrett rattles around the plastic, his bobble head shaking in protest. “You would be going home. But your ego is too big to acknowledge that you needed my help, that you’re not the winner you think you are. Howdo you expect me to back you up if you won’t even trust that I’m looking out for you? What kind of partner does that make you?”
I flinch back and immediately regret losing my ground. Dean’s tone and his cold, cutting glare slice through me. Peeled open now, I become aware of the hundreds of eyes watching us. Dozens of cameras trained on my furious expression. My breath stalls. How is this the same boy I was just joking around with? The one who eagerly helped me prank the resident bully last night? The one whose soft edges were drawing me in, closer and closer to calling him a real friend?
But I should’ve known better. All of that before wasbecauseof the cameras. This? This is in spite of. I’m an idiot for thinking I could trust an alliance built on a lie. Dean’s an actor, a competitor—not my friend.
My lip curls back with a sneer. I shake my head. “Then, maybe we’re not good partners after all.”
I shoulder-check him on my way past, but with the height difference, I kind of just plow into his ribcage and stumble away.Ow. Walk it off, Seyoon. Savor your mic-dropmoment.
Carter hums smugly and says, “Guess the power couple’s run is up.”
Somebody hurries after me, clambering onto the bus. It’s Vendredi, thankfully. I throw myself into a seat in the back and glare out the window. She sits beside me.
“Are you okay, Seyoon?” Her big, round eyes dart over my face, concern written in the pinch of her brow. Guilt twists my gut.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I manage to say, although not convincingly.
Vendredi lingers, looking uncertain about what to say. I cringe inside—the last thing I want to do right now is talk about myfeelings.In the end, she just puts her hand on top of mine. “Can I keep you company?”
Affection surges through me. “Yes, please.”
The others start boarding the bus hesitantly, like they’re scared to be trapped in a contained space with me. I slink down so I’m out of view and away from their invasive stares, and so I don’t have to look at the back of Dean’s head. Vendredi taps my hand, drawing my attention back to her.
“Hey, if you and Dean are actually breaking up,” she starts, keeping her voice down. “You’re more than welcome to join my and Beck’s alliance. Granted, we didn’t find our Funko Pops, so it might not make sense from a strategic standpoint but…” Vendredi raises one eyebrow hopefully, smiling. “The offer’s on the table. If you want it.”
That makes everything sink in. Me and Dean are broken up. It’s hard to imagine doing any of this without him. My leg bounces. I dig my nails into my thighs.
Luckily, Vendredi accepts my small smile and silently mouthedThank youas a good-enough response for now. She scoots in closer and loops her arm through mine, and it makes the bumpy, terrible ride back to camp a little better.
24
