“Whatdoesn’t botherme?”
“He’s obviously got women hanging all over him. You think you could ever trust someone like that?”
I glared at her back as she maneuvered with the glasses and wine. God, I was sick of theconstantbitterness and antagonism. I hadn’t done anything wrong, yetIwas the one under fire?
Every time you give someone a pass for hurting you because you feelguilty for upsetting them, you hurt yourself.
Fuckit.
“That’s pretty rich coming from you.”
She froze at my jibe and narrowed her eyes at me over her shoulder.
“Excuseme?”
“I said, it’s pretty rich that you’re warning me about trusting him when you’re not exactly trustworthy yourself.” I crossed my arms to hide the tremor in my hands.
“And what do you mean by that?” She turned around to lean against the counter—arms crossed, brows raised. Perhaps this was her courtroom look when she was trying to get people to crack.
“Mark. Where was the trust there?”
I hadn’t voiced those words inages. The thought of saying them aloud had always made my skin crawl with anxiety, but now that I had said them, it felt…good.
One perfectly manicured eyebrow rose higher in surprise, but she just laughed. “That was, like, over a year ago. And you weren’t together.”
“It still stands true, though. I was really hurt after that breakup, and what you did made it even worse. I should be able to trust my sister to not do something like that.”
She turned, collected the bottle of wine and a glass from the side, and started pouring, seemingly unbothered.
“Instead of blaming other people for what happened, why don’t you think about why Mark needed to move on in the first place? Something was obviously…” she drawled, looking up and down my body. “Lacking.”
Her words mimicked almost precisely what she’d said immediately after the whole ordeal, and my throat felt tight.
When Lauren was going through her divorce, something hadsoftened between us—I could feel her leaning on me more, which I hadn’t expected but welcomed. So when she’d slept with Mark, it had cut even deeper. Any hope that things might be different, that we might be getting closer, had been destroyed.
I didn’t want to tell her how much her words had affected me, how much I thought about them regularly. God knows I was grateful to be rid of Mark, but I was sick of how much I let both of their actions affect my self-confidence. Even though it was a reflection on them and not me, there was still that voice whispering in my mind, asking whether I would ever be enough for anyone. And hearing those words aloudhurt.
“You know what—” I started, but our mother interrupted.
“What are you two doing in here? Dinner is on the table already.” She looked directly at me. “You’re late.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I texted to say I had to call an Uber.” I gestured to the bottle of wine in my sister’s hand, grabbed my glass from behind her, and filledit.
“Well, the dinner is going cold now. I spent a lot of time cooking it today, so it’s a shame that it won’t taste as nice because you’re late.”
I took a deep gulp of my wine, willing the crisp taste to give me strength.
My sister placed her hand on our mother’s shoulder, mumbling something as they headed toward the dining room.
I had to give it to our mother. She might have been a lackluster parent, but our family home was beautiful. Every surface in the kitchen gleamed under the glow of the recessed lighting. Dark marble countertops stretched across the room, contrasting with the cream cabinets and stainless steel appliances. There were no family pictures cluttering the space, and it lacked a certain lived-in charm, but it was elegant and sophisticated.
The dining room was a large, open space decorated with darkfeatures: mahogany tables, a modern fireplace, and leather sofas. Unlike in the kitchen, there were some pictures: our mother holding her Olympic medal, my sister after she’d passed the bar exam, and our father meeting the prime minister.
I’d never asked why there was no picture of me on the wall because I knew the answer.
I haven’t done anything.
“Hey, Tee.” I kissed the top of Taylor’s head as I passed her to take my seat. “How are you?”
