I had just assumed it meant more.
“Matilda,” he started. “That sounds bad out of context.” He cleared his throat and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Jack’s brow furrowed before understanding dawned on his face.
His expression was almost worse than Luca’s.Pity.
An ache formed in my temples, and I wasn’t sure whether it was from my tears or the sheer embarrassment of them knowing I’d believed the kiss was real.
“Um…I think I’ll catch you tomorrow,” I said, turning on my heel and darting away.
“Stevens, wait!” Luca called after me, but I picked up my pace. “Well done, dickhead.” His muffled voice carried over the chaos as I hurried in the opposite direction.
Had all of our stolen moments served only to make our ruse more believable? Were the dinners, the flirting, and the smiles merely to ensure we made it to the final?
I actually told him I’ve never been fucked.
A glance behind me as I raced down the hallway to our dressing room confirmed I’d lost Luca. I had to get out of there. I wasn’t sure where I would go yet, but I would save that particular meltdown for thecar.
I turned and pushed through endless doors, taking every shortcut I could. I was only two corridors away when I ran straight into a very livid-looking Mark.
“You.” He pointed at me, his voice menacing, just as his walkie-talkie crackled and a voice filled the hallway. Something about needing him backstage. We were still mid-show, after all. I brushed past him, grateful for whoever was on the end of the device. “I’ll deal with you properly later,” he shouted afterme.
I didn’t bother acknowledging his threat. I needed to getout.
“Oh—fuck!” I shrieked, shocked as I rounded the corner into our dressing room and found Luca already there, chest heaving, skates still in hand. “Matilda,” he rushed out. “What Jack said—”
“Honestly, don’t worry,” I interrupted, deciding that my ego could only take so many hits in one night. The thought of Luca feeling guilty because I had misread the situation made me want to run for the hills. “You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“I do,” he argued, dropping the skates.
I grabbed my bag and stuffed it with a few essentials before I made a run for it. “You don’t.” I avoided his gaze. “I have to get going anyway. My phone’s blowing up, and—Oh my god, my mum—” The burning behind my eyes intensified at the thought of having to explain this toher.
“Fuck, stop! Stop moving, Matilda.” Luca grabbed my shoulders. “It’s me. Stop pretending everything’sOK.”
“It’s fine.” I shrugged, trying to slip free from his grasp.
“Stop saying it’s fine.”
“Itis.”
“Are we back to this again? Telling me what you think I want to hear?” he demanded.
“I am giving you an out, Luca. Let me leave, and I promise we can forget any of this ever happened.”
“Why the fuck do you think I want to forget? I chased you through the studio.”
“Because you feel guilty!” My voice cracked as I shouted.
“Do you believe I’d do something I didn’t want to out of guilt? Do you know me at all?”
“I don’t know! I’ve been getting some pretty mixed signals.” The embarrassment gave way to anger, surging and rising with my words.
“Then stop pretending everything’s fine!” His voice rose to match mine.
“What else do you want me to say?”
“The truth, Matilda! You’re on the brink of tears, and you’re telling me you’re OK? Even if you weren’t almost crying, you forgetI know you.”
“I’m embarrassed, Luca! For some ridiculous reason, I thought you kissed me because you wanted to, not because Jack orchestrated it as some PR stunt. And if you’d just told me at the start, you know I would have agreed to it, so I don’t understand why you didn’t just ask me instead of doing all thestupidextra stuff—”
